I'm not one for regrets. I'm not crazy or wild, but I've always worked to live by the belief that there shouldn't be moments that I would regret, and if I come to a juncture where a decision to act might be scary I ask myself, "Would I regret not____?" If the answer to that question is 'yes', I usually just do it.
However, and while I don't have many, there are still a few things I might have done over. Now, I also run on the belief that if you listen to your inner compass and put forth the effort, what is meant to be will be. For example, I never went skydiving and I think it would be amazing to go. That said, I tried 3 times in college to go, and each time I signed up, the day of the jump the event was cancelled due to weather. Over 3 years I tried to go 3 different times, and with every one being turned down, I have since understood that that was God's way of saying I am not supposed to jump out of a plane. Fine. I'm sad to have never gone, but that is a scenario where I repeatedly put forth the effort but it was not a card I was ultimately to play.
There are a few others, a few items and events I would have liked to have done differently, a few things I would have liked to have told people but didn't and now I wish I had. Ultimately, I can probably count all those times on 1 hand which, in the grand scheme of things, is quite remarkable. I highly recommend you live your life that way so you can't say 'if only I'd...." and rattle off countless items. However, with Adele's new song, "Hello," on the radio (which, by the way I love!...be still my thoughtful and wallowing heart), I am reminded of those less-than-handful of things I didn't try hard enough on. And to my younger self, I say, "I'm sorry". I'm sorry I didn't stay in Spain longer when I had the chance; I'm sorry I didn't get believe you were beautiful enough at a young enough age to keep you healthy through your teen years; I'm sorry I didn't make the effort to learn a new language when I had the perfect chance in school.
In the words of my book, Living With B, "Hindsight is a gift, not a given." So here's to hoping my now 20/20 vision keeps my heart adventurous and my nerve yearning to "do" so I can continue to keep my regrets to only one hand.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Remembering Your Time and How To Spend It
Today at work I spoke with my team about what we would discuss in the next week's meeting: Scheduling and Prioritizing.
Maybe that sounds like a something you need to discuss. Maybe you're rolling your eyes because you feel like it's all anyone every discusses. Regardless, it's amazing how many people think they know how to manage their time and yet never seem to "get anything done".
I pull my information from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you haven't read it I highly recommend you do. Not only is it fascinating but it's a great book that can be applied to every area of your life. And what I also really liked about it was that it wasn't just saying "Be Positive" and "Think Happy Things" and your life will be better. It actually took you down to the core factors and gave you a chance to think about them.
But I digress. Really, the purpose of mentioning the book is that this is from where my information is retrieved. It's about the different quadrants and how to understand the importance of differentiating between Urgent matters -vs Non-Urgent ones, and Important -vs- Unimportant matters. If you can Imagine 4 boxes:
(1) IMPORTANT / URGENT (2) UNIMPORTANT/URGENT
(3) IMPORTANT/ NOT URGENT (4) UNIMPORTANT/NOT URGENT
These are basically the four areas that everything falls into. Quadrant one is like your serious events - natural disasters, severe illness, deadlines that can't be moved, etc. And while they are important, most activities do not fall into this category. However, the trip up here is that most people actually believe the activities they're doing do fall into that category.
What are these 'other' activities that people deem important and/or urgent but aren't? Emails, phone calls, impromptu interruptions. These are items that fall in quadrant 3 and 4 and request your attention, demand that you be at their beck and call, but ultimately don't do much for you and the direction of your life. These are items that, if you allow them to rule your day, your life, etc, you will discover that you are just 'participating' in your life and not really 'living' and 'directing' your life. Often, you'll know if you've done these activities if you go "how did it get to be _________ already" but you haven't felt like you accomplished anything. ....and it's the 'but' part of that sentence that's important. Time takes life away from all of us, but if you're finding you say the second part of that sentence often, it's probably time to re-evaluate how you're spending your days.
So what's a (2) activity? These are goals, ambitions, dreams, and things that require planning, preparation, effort, and focus. These are not items that will just happen without a conscious effort on your part to make them so. Think of planning and saving for a vacation, learning a language, scheduling your day and then sticking to it, saying 'no' to things so that you can say 'yes' to the bigger ones....playing an instrument, taking art or dance classes, building a business, paying off debt, .... and the list goes on.
Ultimately, it's about what you deem belongs in that quadrant 2 area that should ultimately drive you life, your months, your days, and even your hours. Everyone has quadrant 3 and 4 activities. We can't fully break away from them. However, it's all about learning how to manage them, direct them, and force them into the time slots you allow them that will help you feel and gain back control to ultimately live your life.
Maybe that sounds like a something you need to discuss. Maybe you're rolling your eyes because you feel like it's all anyone every discusses. Regardless, it's amazing how many people think they know how to manage their time and yet never seem to "get anything done".
I pull my information from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you haven't read it I highly recommend you do. Not only is it fascinating but it's a great book that can be applied to every area of your life. And what I also really liked about it was that it wasn't just saying "Be Positive" and "Think Happy Things" and your life will be better. It actually took you down to the core factors and gave you a chance to think about them.
But I digress. Really, the purpose of mentioning the book is that this is from where my information is retrieved. It's about the different quadrants and how to understand the importance of differentiating between Urgent matters -vs Non-Urgent ones, and Important -vs- Unimportant matters. If you can Imagine 4 boxes:
(1) IMPORTANT / URGENT (2) UNIMPORTANT/URGENT
(3) IMPORTANT/ NOT URGENT (4) UNIMPORTANT/NOT URGENT
These are basically the four areas that everything falls into. Quadrant one is like your serious events - natural disasters, severe illness, deadlines that can't be moved, etc. And while they are important, most activities do not fall into this category. However, the trip up here is that most people actually believe the activities they're doing do fall into that category.
What are these 'other' activities that people deem important and/or urgent but aren't? Emails, phone calls, impromptu interruptions. These are items that fall in quadrant 3 and 4 and request your attention, demand that you be at their beck and call, but ultimately don't do much for you and the direction of your life. These are items that, if you allow them to rule your day, your life, etc, you will discover that you are just 'participating' in your life and not really 'living' and 'directing' your life. Often, you'll know if you've done these activities if you go "how did it get to be _________ already" but you haven't felt like you accomplished anything. ....and it's the 'but' part of that sentence that's important. Time takes life away from all of us, but if you're finding you say the second part of that sentence often, it's probably time to re-evaluate how you're spending your days.
So what's a (2) activity? These are goals, ambitions, dreams, and things that require planning, preparation, effort, and focus. These are not items that will just happen without a conscious effort on your part to make them so. Think of planning and saving for a vacation, learning a language, scheduling your day and then sticking to it, saying 'no' to things so that you can say 'yes' to the bigger ones....playing an instrument, taking art or dance classes, building a business, paying off debt, .... and the list goes on.
Ultimately, it's about what you deem belongs in that quadrant 2 area that should ultimately drive you life, your months, your days, and even your hours. Everyone has quadrant 3 and 4 activities. We can't fully break away from them. However, it's all about learning how to manage them, direct them, and force them into the time slots you allow them that will help you feel and gain back control to ultimately live your life.
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