Sex Day 21 - Renewed

Walking home today, I had a fleeting thought:  "You should put something sexy on for him," it said.

I kept walking, took the dog out, and started making dinner.  As the water boiled and I was busying myself with two or three other things, the thought echoed in my head, and it made me pause.  You know?  Given the atrocity and horrific reality that was Day 17, this little dancing idea was a good one!  Yes, not only were we going to have sex, but I was going to put on an outfit and be all sexy around the house in the meantime.  There's nothing better than the anticipation, and that is exactly what I was going to give myself: the pleasure of anticipation and the satisfaction of watching his face when he walked through the front door.

And boy did it work.  We waited a few hours before having sex, but in the meantime I went around the house in my outfit and enjoyed the oogly eyes and stares both when I was and when (he thought) I wasn't looking.  And it so worked.  By the time we had sex I was so turned on it made up for all the awfulness that befell me earlier in the week.  It was funny too, because, by my reactions and attitude during sex, he thought he was doing all the amazing work.  Don't get me wrong, he definitely had a part in the pleasure, but I was so elated with myself and how much more enjoyable sex ended up being, that I was even more involved during the actual act of sex than even I had anticipated.  

If you find you and yours have met with a rut, don't just change things up, but do whatever it is you need to do to build up the excitement brought about by anticipation. Both of you will be glad you did!

Sex Day 17 - Tired

Not necessarily physically tired.  Although, I guess when you lounge around the house all day, on your 'day off', it could cause you to be lazier and more tired than normal. But no. It's not that kind of tired.  I mean more tired-bored.  It's the kind of tired where you yawn because your brain is unenthused; the kind where you check your watch a few times more than you should; the kind where you start day-dreaming something more exciting then the reality currently sitting right before your eyes.

Yes, that kind of tired.  And that's how I felt during sex today.  Why?  Who the hell knows.  It's not like one of us wasn't having a good time.  ...I think.  He made some noise and it ended well.  For him. So I think it was good.  But me?  I was so checked-out the whole time it felt more like a chore.

And honestly?  That terrified me. I'm not that person!  I love sex!  Ever since I discovered it in my teens I've loved it.  And I was never.  ever.  EVER tired of it.  Ever.  So I laid there, half-heartedly participating, day-dreaming something else.  The worst part? It wasn't even like another sex fantasy.  It was like "hmm, I still have to shower later and make dinner. Oh, I probably need to write that email.  Could I give myself a pedicure later?  Ugh, is he not done yet?"

EEEEEEW!  Who is this person?  I was so stunned and put-off by the whole thing I literally took a shower after sex and had a "talking to" with myself while I stood there, motionless, letting the very warm water pound down from the shower head.  Is this what happens when you have 'too much sex'? Is that a thing? Too much?  And then I thought, "Is this how porn stars feel?  They don't feel the sex they just feel the work?"  You know, I never really thought of that before, although most likely that is simply due to the fact that if and when I do ever watch porn it's because I am or want to be super horny, not because I'm doing social science and psychological research.

So that was it.  My half stunned/half disgusted self decided that I am waaaaaaay too young for this kind of reaction to sex.  Next time it will have to be better.

Sex Day 15 - Subconscious Thought

Happy 15th day of month 2!

I took a beautiful little nap after dinner tonight.  I attribute it fully to the fact that I passed on my coffee/tea today and yesterday I had 2 half-caf americans from Starbucks.  Up until 1pm I didn't even notice that I hadn't had any yet, and then suddenly I got really tired.  Since it is Friday and I had nothing to do this evening, I figured I'd give my body a break from caffeine and just skip it, tired or not.

Well, it hit me at 6pm, and I just couldn't stay awake any longer.  It was time for a nap.  Off to sleepy-time I went...

Then I woke up about an hour later, refreshed.  Oddly enough? One of my first thought when I woke up was, "mmm, sex would be really nice right now".  It didn't even seem odd at to think it, rather something as commonplace as, "what should I have for dinner?" or "wow, it's getting dark out".

When my husband realized I was awake, he promptly asked if I was up for having sex.  The timing made me laugh.  And you know what?  It was really enjoyable and immensely fulfilling - so much better than the sex we had yesterday.  My guess?  Because subconsciously I had decided it was something I wanted, something as basic and needed as food, air, or exercise.

I like this me.  Hopefully she'll stick around!

Sex - Day 14

Whoops!  Missed a whole bunch of days with you all!  As I mentioned, it appeared clear by the end of the first week that this month was going to be another 5 and 2 - 5 days on and 2 days off.  Today is one of our 2 days off this week.  And that's okay, things have been really good otherwise.  I'm learning more, like how to vocalize more of what I want, that positions we used to enjoy when we were first dating that somehow fell out of our repertoire are actually really enjoyable (why would they fall out then?! *sigh*), and that the regularity of all this sex is actually helping de-stress my body!

It's only the 1/2 way mark, but I think we're doing really well so far this month!

Sex - Day 5

I found myself back at work today over a long holiday.  I weighed myself and, despite being on iron supplements to bring my iron levels back to normal (which was promoting the loss of about 3 pounds!), I was also "back to normal".  Aka, the weight I was about 2 weeks ago.

Granted, it's only 3 pounds, but a teeeeeny piece of me was like "God Dam**t all to H**L!  Grrrrr".

And then I proceeded to put on a dress.

And all throughout the day I kept eye-ing myself in the mirror, wondering, "Did 3 pounds make any difference?  Either way?  I mean, my butt looks ok. My dress seems to fit well.  I don't feel 'heavier'.  Hmm".

And then a little present came floating into my brain.  It was a scene from Eat, Pray, Love that my husband and I watched the other day.  Apparently the timing on that move was impeccable, for the Naples (Napoli) scene flashed in front of my eyes, where Liz's friend is commenting on how she can't eat pizza because of her new muffin-top, and Liz basically calls her out on it.  She says something along the lines of "Have you ever undressed in front of a man and had him walk out on you?  No.  Because to a man, a naked girl is like hitting the jackpot."

And so, there I was, eyeing myself over subconsciously trying to vilify or validate the 3 pounds, and suddenly I half laughed at myself.  What was I doing?  I was crazy.  My husband was so thrilled to be doing 'sex' month, who was I kidding about 3 pounds?  He just wants me to enjoy myself because he certainly is!

So, you know what, love, or eat, or do whatever you want so long as you feel like a great person, just say 'screw it', and remind yourself you significant other didn't marry you because of a few pounds.  S/he married YOU.  And s/he wants you to, like he or she is, enjoy yourself.

30 Days Better Challenge. Month 2. Sex

Alright.  It's month 2.  As denoted, we are on to the second wave of "30 days better" and given the list of things I wanted to do, and the timing of my period, my husband and I decided it was a good time for the "sex" month.  We are now on day 3.

Some things I've noted already:

• While he's always/usually 'in the mood', he has been overly eager these last few days.  That has been fun.
• On Day 1, he and I got into a tiny spat in the middle of the day.  I realized that there are going to be days when I won't be 'in the mood' but will have to find a way to 'get through it'.
• What does that mean?  Well, I think it's going to have to mean learning to forgive better than we currently do.  I mean, how many times do you stay angry at your significant other over something that, long term, really doesn't make a difference?  How often do you react to something in the wrong way not because of what actually happened but because of the mood you were already in when it came up?
• These are the things that I think are going to get tested more these next 27 days more than anything else
• We will have to find new and exciting ways to make sex interesting, so it's not the same thing, same position, same time all the time.  Sure there's a bit of variance in our current sex life, but I think it's less exciting and invigorated than it could be.  I'm sure we'll be exploring a bit so it doesn't feel like a routined chore by day 15.

And just because it happened to be really good timing, we were watching Eat, Pray, Love this morning.  If you haven't seen it, (and I like the movie much better than I like the book), there's a part in Bali when she meets the healer Wayan who comments on the fact that Liz clearly hasn't had sex in about a year.  She says her cartilage is clearly stiffer than it should be, and that when you have sex it keeps the joints loose and limber.

Well, hey, look at all the apparent health benefits of this next month!  Woot!

Gelato in Ice Cream Cake

Alright everyone -

Here's the result of our Ice Cream Cake endeavor:

Result?  Gelato makes for an ideal filling! You can cut it while it's fully frozen / straight from the freezer and eat it without complications!

A definite "Must Try!"