Grange Hall Burger Bar

It's official.  I'm back to eating meat after being vegan for 2.5 years.  It's been a tough transition and one that was actually brought on by a diet restriction change.  I've been transitioning slowly to allow my body to adjust, and it's now been about four months.  I still don't eat meat often, and almost never at home.  Usually if I eat it it is because I order it at a restaurant while determining my best options.  And usually my options stick to fish or bacon (I can't help it! Bacon is so yummy!)

So, when friends came in to town and my husband and I wanted to take them somewhere everyone would enjoy, we decided on Grange Hall Burger Bar on Randolph in Chicago.  It has vegan burgers, gluten-free buns, and is renowned for its burgers.  Holy man, what amazing burgers they are!

If you haven't yet been, I highly recommend it.  Be mindful it is tiny inside and you will definitely want to make a reservation. That said - the food is spectacular.  I had the Thankful burger with a regular burger patty.  My husband had the vegan burger, and another friend had the berries and brie burger.  Everyone was silent while we ate!  It was that good!  Plus, their drink menu is spectacular.  All in all, 9/10.  Delish! And the perfect way to celebrate my first burger in over 3 years!

Remembering

Right around this time of year I miss my mother more than most other times.  This year has been slightly tougher.  Turning 30 was hard, and not having her around made it a bit more bitter and confusing.  However, around the holidays my heart yearns for her a little more.

The positive side?  Even though she isn't around anymore, there are so many things that remind me of her it's like she's still here.  I see or hear her in her favorite Christmas songs, in the Christmas movies we used to watch together, or in baking her favorite cookies.  I find myself suddenly smiling in loving memory at the sound of a tune or the mention of one of her favorite anythings.  It's like feeling her come down for a brief moment and wrapping her arms around me.

And that is priceless.

Rethinking Priorities

Unfortunately, this season has already been peppered with the sting of loss.  One of my husband and my good friend's mom passed away two weeks ago.  Aside from the fact that it was terribly difficult watching them go through that and that it brought back for me the personal sting of losing my mom eight years ago, it turned out that this was one of many incidents recently - and that is just between my co-workers and me.  Since mid-November, my co-workers and I have had four funerals to attend. The news of such consistent loss across a very tiny cross-section of humanity struck a different chord than the one struck when someone every now and again says they lost someone.

Please don't misunderstand.  I'm not negating the power of loss or the extreme upset any loss creates for a family.  What I am stressing is that the quickness with which the numerous losses hit our tiny little group made me take a hard look at the reality of where my husband and I are.

We have a few goals:  pay off the car, pay off my student loans, and I want to take him to Europe using our points for free airfare.  In the longer term we'd like to move, maybe even customize our next place to really be what we want, and travel to a few places that have peaked our interest.  I'd also like to donate to the Chicago Canine Rescue and build them a new facility - something they desperately need.  With all that in mind, we keep debating how to best utilize our money - how much to save, how much to put towards loans, how much to put aside for our use, how much to use for donations, etc.  Lately, we've been so focused on paying off our bills we have forgone a lot of 'things' - date nights, activities, etc - in favor of allocating funds better.

With the loss of these people and the quickness with which they passed, something inside me shook.  I suddenly wondered what the rush was - why are we starving ourselves of enjoying life just to pay down a few bills a few months sooner?  I thought back on the last 2 years, the last 5 years, looking at what warmed my heart, and you know what it was?  Activities.  Travels.  Dinners and movie nights with my husband and friends.  Those are what I remember.  I don't remember the total of my bills for the month. I don't remember the intensity of the stress.  I remember the people and the activity.

So, with that, we rethought.  We aren't forgoing saving.  We aren't forgoing donations.  We aren't even forgoing paying our bills.  What we have decided, though, is that starving ourselves of life's rich moments to pay something off a few weeks or months early may not be in our best interest.  We have life insurance should something devastatingly horrible happen to us, so we have each other covered.  Otherwise, in the end, it's the moments that make life so precious, not the $$ spent.

Regret-ing Forward

I'm not one for regrets.  I'm not crazy or wild, but I've always worked to live by the belief that there shouldn't be moments that I would regret, and if I come to a juncture where a decision to act might be scary I ask myself, "Would I regret not____?"  If the answer to that question is 'yes', I usually just do it.

However, and while I don't have many, there are still a few things I might have done over.  Now, I also run on the belief that if you listen to your inner compass and put forth the effort, what is meant to be will be.  For example, I never went skydiving and I think it would be amazing to go.  That said, I tried 3 times in college to go, and each time I signed up, the day of the jump the event was cancelled due to weather.  Over 3 years I tried to go 3 different times, and with every one being turned down, I have since understood that that was God's way of saying I am not supposed to jump out of a plane.  Fine. I'm sad to have never gone, but that is a scenario where I repeatedly put forth the effort but it was not a card I was ultimately to play.

There are a few others, a few items and events I would have liked to have done differently, a few things I would have liked to have told people but didn't and now I wish I had.  Ultimately, I can probably count all those times on 1 hand which, in the grand scheme of things, is quite remarkable.  I highly recommend you live your life that way so you can't say 'if only I'd...." and rattle off countless items.  However, with Adele's new song, "Hello," on the radio (which, by the way I love!...be still my thoughtful and wallowing heart), I am reminded of those less-than-handful of things I didn't try hard enough on.  And to my younger self, I say, "I'm sorry".  I'm sorry I didn't stay in Spain longer when I had the chance; I'm sorry I didn't get believe you were beautiful enough at a young enough age to keep you healthy through your teen years; I'm sorry I didn't make the effort to learn a new language when I had the perfect chance in school.

In the words of my book, Living With B, "Hindsight is a gift, not a given."  So here's to hoping my now 20/20 vision keeps my heart adventurous and my nerve yearning to "do" so I can continue to keep my regrets to only one hand.

Remembering Your Time and How To Spend It

Today at work I spoke with my team about what we would discuss in the next week's meeting:  Scheduling and Prioritizing.

Maybe that sounds like a something you need to discuss.  Maybe you're rolling your eyes because you feel like it's all anyone every discusses.  Regardless, it's amazing how many people think they know how to manage their time and yet never seem to "get anything done".

I pull my information from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  If you haven't read it I highly recommend you do.  Not only is it fascinating but it's a great book that can be applied to every area of your life.  And what I also really liked about it was that it wasn't just saying "Be Positive" and "Think Happy Things" and your life will be better.  It actually took you down to the core factors and gave you a chance to think about them.

But I digress.  Really, the purpose of mentioning the book is that this is from where my information is retrieved.  It's about the different quadrants and how to understand the importance of differentiating between Urgent matters -vs Non-Urgent ones, and Important -vs- Unimportant matters.  If you can Imagine 4 boxes:

(1) IMPORTANT / URGENT             (2) UNIMPORTANT/URGENT
(3) IMPORTANT/ NOT URGENT     (4) UNIMPORTANT/NOT URGENT

These are basically the four areas that everything falls into.  Quadrant one is like your serious events - natural disasters, severe illness, deadlines that can't be moved, etc.  And while they are important, most activities do not fall into this category.  However, the trip up here is that most people actually believe the activities they're doing do fall into that category.

What are these 'other' activities that people deem important and/or urgent but aren't?  Emails, phone calls, impromptu interruptions.  These are items that fall in quadrant 3 and 4 and request your attention, demand that you be at their beck and call, but ultimately don't do much for you and the direction of your life.  These are items that, if you allow them to rule your day, your life, etc, you will discover that you are just 'participating' in your life and not really 'living' and 'directing' your life.  Often, you'll know if you've done these activities if you go "how did it get to be _________ already" but you haven't felt like you accomplished anything.  ....and it's the 'but' part of that sentence that's important.  Time takes life away from all of us, but if you're finding you say the second part of that sentence often, it's probably time to re-evaluate how you're spending your days.

So what's a (2) activity?  These are goals, ambitions, dreams, and things that require planning, preparation, effort, and focus.  These are not items that will just happen without a conscious effort on your part to make them so.  Think of planning and saving for a vacation, learning a language, scheduling your day and then sticking to it, saying 'no' to things so that you can say 'yes' to the bigger ones....playing an instrument, taking art or dance classes, building a business, paying off debt, .... and the list goes on.

Ultimately, it's about what you deem belongs in that quadrant 2 area that should ultimately drive you life, your months, your days, and even your hours.  Everyone has quadrant 3 and 4 activities.  We can't fully break away from them.  However, it's all about learning how to manage them, direct them, and force them into the time slots you allow them that will help you feel and gain back control to ultimately live your life.

Refocus

And on these days we remember that the smallest steps make up the greatest journey, and that if it isn't challenging, it isn't worth the reward and satisfaction in the end.

Pumpkin Pancetta Risotto

It's officially fall in Chicago, and that means it's time to switch up your food choices to seasonal ones.  That includes, of course, everything pumpkin!  So far I've made pumpkin pie, pumpkin pancakes, and today it was Pumpkin Risotto!

I'm not really one for official recipes, so this is measure-less pumpkin pancetta risotto:

2 cups Arborio rice
Water with about 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
2 Chick'n (vegan chicken) broth cubes
Pancetta (or bacon) cut in small pieces
Carrots (I used 1 1/2 carrots and just shaved the pieces into the rice, but you could chop them)
3/4 can pumpkin
Fresh Sage
Pepper
Salt
Nutmeg
Cinnamon
Parmesan (option, but be sure it's the real cheese and not pre-shredded.  It's yummier that way)

Basically, if you've never made risotto before, be sure you have a large enough skillet or a large pan because you'll need to held the rice and ALL the water you'll need.  It will also take about 30-60 minutes, so be sure you have the time!

At the same time you're sautéing your rice, pancetta, pumpkin and veggies, start the water on a boiler to bring it almost to a boil.  You want to be sure you add HOT water to your risotto to allow it to cook properly.

Once the pancetta's more or less cooked, start adding water about 1 cup at a time.  The pancetta will finish cooking if it's not done when you add the water.  I also add the milk right way with the first cut of water.  Stir every few minutes, moving the rice around to soak up all the water but also giving it time to actually soak up the water.  As the water is about 3/4 absorbed by the rice, add another cup of water.  Continue to do this until you have well-cooked risotto.  You will probably add double or triple the water as you had rice, so be sure you keep enough warm water in the pot so you don't run out!

Then, when it's done, turn off the burner and let it sit about 10 min to pick up all the flavors.  Serve in a bowl and enjoy!  Top is freshly shredded parmesan cheese if you have some (the real kind!).  Happy Holiday Eating!

The Power of Marketing

I recently read in Success Magazine that FUBU went under three times before it became a million dollar company.  Many would falter and give up after one failure, but not FUBU.  It continued to grind its way into the ground three times before it refocused and became the powerhouse fashion company it is today.

How?  By utilizing clever marketing.  We've heard this a lot lately, discussion about not only branding your company but branding yourself as well. After all, thanks to Paris Hilton and the Kardashians, the idea of you as a brand has become a normal in today's society.  Maybe it always was a 'thing,' but thanks to these mega-stars, personal branding is a mainstream thought.

If that's the case, that means you are consistently feeding your brand, and you're either doing so positively or negatively, whether you're actively intending to do so or not.  So some things to consider:

*What do you post on social media?  Is it positive?  Negative?  Aggressive?  Thoughtful?  Service-minded?

*How do you 'show up'?  Do you arrive at events, friend's houses, even just at the locations where you run errands put-together and prepared or looking haggard and disheveled?  Maybe it's not intentional, but everything you do reflects on how you are wanting the world to view you.

Recently, in fact, I went shopping - not because I had excess amounts of money to spend, but because I put on my college hoodie one day and thought, "You know?  I'm 30.  I don't need to be wearing any more oversized college hoodies anymore.  Time to update."  I've been on a mission to find a non-pocketed hoodie with a high neck but not necessarily a hood.  I found it at Ann Taylor Loft in the Lou Grey section.  They're AMAZING! (and they were 40% off the other weekend).  So I practically got a BOGO deal .... almost.  Either way, I knew that this upgrade to my wardrobe would reflect my more sophisticated and growing style as I evolved into my thirties.  That's how I want to show myself to the world, so that was a strategic move I made.

What's yours?

Cross Country Moves - Things to Keep in Mind

A friend of mine is moving out of the country.  While my friend and his wife are really excited, they are doing a trial period (like 4-6 months) to see if it's really what they are looking for and expecting.  That said, even with the thought that they may choose to return in the long term, there were a lot of things to consider during the process.  (It's also similar if you 'winter' in a different state from where your more permanent residence is.  Some of the same considerations apply!)

(1) Where are you going to bank?
While the comforts of the internet have allowed for conveniences not previously known to us as a species, there are still some vital points to remember.  Yes, you can pay most of your bills online, but what do you need to do for short-term cash needs?  The best thing to look into is joining a bank that has international branches or partners in the area you are going to be.  For example, Bank of America or Chase may partner with banks in your country of choice.  This means that, while you won't be walking into a Chase or BoA bank in your new home country, there may be a bank there that still affords you the same privileges: deposits, ATM withdrawals without fees, and investing options.  While it may not seem like a huge deal, there will be that clutch time when you need access to your money and you either can't or don't want to pay the fee or wait the required timespan to obtain what you need.  These partnerships are vital.  Do your research, and know what your options are.

(2) What about your mail?
Unlike banking, mail is still very physical.  The internet hasn't put the monopoly on this one yet.  That means you probably should check the forwarding restrictions on your new location.  If you're within the same country, you may be able to forward your mail for a short period of time without much difficulty, or at least put it in a PO Box until you return.  If you are traveling across boarders for a substantial period of time this may prove more challenging.  First, understand the kind of mail you get.  If they're bills and things, transfer them to online payments.  If they're investments, ensure you can manage them from online as well.  If you have regularly shipped packages or prescriptions, see if your new host country or location can fill them or if you would even be allowed to ship them internationally.  If so, forwarding to a trusted friend or family member may be a great option.  They can collect your mail and send you a large package at regular 2-4 week intervals or every 1-2 months, depending on what you need and how much is sent to you.  However, check the stipulations of what would be included in that package!

(3) Any belongings you leave behind need a home.
If you're only going for a short time and returning to your same home, most of your belongings can probably stay in-house as long as you appoint someone to come in regularly, make sure everything is running properly, and just generally check on your property.  If you have a car that 'lives' outside, though, maybe you want to leave it with a friend while you are gone or rent a large enough storage unit to ensure it's stored safely.  The last thing you want is to come home to disarray that could have been avoided with a little forethought.

(4) Phone plans.
If you're staying in-country, this probably isn't such a big deal.  If you are traveling abroad but you want to try to keep your number, you may have to go to your phone provider and understand their international plans.  Some phone companies now allow for unlimited texting to certain countries.  Some allow for unlimited texting regardless of country.  Some allow for add-ons such as X-minutes of calling from or to certain countries.  Others charge heavy fees and you may find options like Skype, Viber, Zoom, etc, are more to your auditory needs, especially if it's only for a limited amount of time and if you still have texting enabled.  Yes, you may have to plan your phone calls more carefully, but everyday issues can be handled by text making the voice requirement less of an issue.  But either way - check! The last thing you want is an exaggerated phone bill to show up when you log-in online to your account and had no idea it would be there!

Otherwise - have fun!  Check food/dietary restrictions/language barriers and customs as hopefully you would even if you were traveling for only a short period of time.  Insurance is also really important, but I know and understand that in a very very very limited capacity.  Enjoy the world, enjoy your time away, and just enjoy all the beauty and perks life has to offer you.

...and now you can enjoy them with even more convenience and peace of mind.

Quick Thai Peanut Sauce

If you ever find yourself in a place like I am tonight, here's a quick Thai Peanut Sauce recipe you can enjoy:

Peanut Butter
Coconut Oil
Sesame Oil
Ginger
Red Pepper Flakes
Lime Juice
Pepper & Salt
Basil

Fry it in a pan with your veggies.  Add a little water if you're Peanut Butter doesn't liquidate to the consistency you want with the oil and water that comes from the veggies.  When your noodles are done, mix with the sauce in the pan and voila!  Thai Peanut dinner!

That Awkward Disconnect

Last night my husband and I had dinner with two of our friends (we went to Umai in Chicago, which was absolutely delicious!) and we had an absolutely wonderful time.  They're great friends - you know, the kind who brighten your day, make you laugh, connect with you completely, and make you feel valued, important, and like they are as committed to the mutual friendship as you are.  That's exactly how they are.  We actually spent three hours there and were one of the last three tables there - we basically got 'kicked out' so they could close!  We just couldn't stop talking; we were having so much fun.  So my husband and I left that night with our 'cups' filled, happily tired from the friend exchange.

Tonight we went to a going away party.  And tonight was different.  While we get along with most of the people who were at this event, there was a disconnect.  Instead of easy conversation, the kind that also is filled with depth and questions that push  you to learn and grow through the conversation to continue to enjoy it and move it forward, these were fluff conversations, the kinds that stay on such basic and generally superficial topics that they could be had between any two people anywhere.  We spoke of family vacations, relationships with relatives you don't see often, the food, the weather, jobs, and so on and so on.  It's not that they weren't pleasant - and if you'd been a fly on the wall it probably seemed like we were all having a good time - but these were the other kinds of conversations: slightly forced, and when the silence arrived it hovered awkwardly as people tried to think of what to bring up next.  That was how tonight went.

And so my husband and I left, and I noted that I still felt "empty", unfulfilled, and tired in a different way - not the one where you've exhausted your energy because there was so much to say and you just felt you were always catching your breath to say it all, but the kind where you've exhausted your energy putting on the face that gets you through the night seeming like you fully enjoyed yourself.

It's amazing how different crowds, even if they're both inclusive of people you find it rather easy to be around and genuinely part of your friend/family/non-work circle, can fill your emotional 'cups' differently.  And sometimes it's of no fault to the other party, but the 'cups' you require to be filled to feel like the night was a full and well-rounded success on every level change as your life changes, and what works sometimes doesn't work other times.

So here's to your success in filling your cups with the best kind of enjoyment, without the awkward silences!

Bom Bolla - to Cava or Not to Cava

Today I met a friend at Bom Bolla - the new Spanish Cava bar/tapas restaurant in Wicker Park, although I'm not sure they brand themselves as a tapas restaurant.  They certainly have a few though. From the owners that brought you Pop Champagne bar in River North, new doors have open to another Mediterranean wonder...Spain.

Moving away from their French roots at Pop, the owners have opened a Spanish Cava bar with...an attempted Spanish tapas.  Don't get me wrong, the tapas are delicious.  My friend and I split two plates of cheese, a plate of lomo (cured meat), some eggplant roasted over charcoal (definitely not my favorite) and Potato and Onion croquettes (super yummy).  Along with 2 glasses of rosé cava, the bill was actually manageable compared to some other tapas restaurants I've been to.  It cost us about $35 a person.  I wasn't stuffed, but I was happily comfortable.

And while the rosé was delicious, I'll admit I had to head for the almost French rosé as opposed to the Spanish brand, although that wasn't for a lack of trying.  I ordered the cheapest Spanish brand and it was far too sweet and fruity for my taste.  My husband tells me my tastebuds are weird, but to me it was too close to sparkling apple juice to be enjoyable.  Give me a clean, crisp, dry rosé and I'm happy!

Again, the food was good, and it was absolutely like a Spanish bar: unassuming, relaxed, and with only a few 'bar food' items at your disposal.  A Spanish bar isn't a place for a meal, but rather a light nibbling to help you not get super drunk super fast.  However, I'm just not sure the Wicker Park neighborhood is going to gobble up this hoping-to-be gem.  While Pop Champagne finds a wonderfully welcoming home in the bustle, touristy, and professional River North, I feel the Spanish Bom Bolla may have found a better home in a similar neighborhood as well.  Although unassuming, it's definitely a little more pretentious than the neighboring Furious Spoon and Big Star.  However, it reminded me of my year spent living in Spain, and for that I thank it.

So good luck to you, Bom Bolla!  I hope you prove me wrong!

South Branch Tavern Grille

Tonight my husband and I met a friend for drinks and small bites at South Branch Tavern Grille in Chicago right on the river.  If you haven't been before, the entrance is on Monroe and the River (not Wacker or Adams, despite the outdoor patio being there!)  Needless to say I had a fun time walking all the way around just to find the front door, but it was worth it.

It's probably also important to note that it is ALWAYS BUSY!  While this is a superbly good sign that the food, drinks, and atmosphere are worth it, it also means that it can take you a while to get a table.  So plan to arrive early, and doubly early if you want a chance to sit outside. Now, granted, it's the average Chicago July so it's naturally 60 degrees outside (*please note sarcasm*) so we opted for an indoor booth, but we were not disappointed.  Luckily we were right on the water and enjoyed the sun shining in from outside.

And the food didn't disappoint either.  We started with some beer and Stella Cider - yum! - and then some food.  Of course, I couldn't pass up the tater tots, so the side dish became my munch'ems, which was absolutely the best idea E-V-E-R.  Tater tots are one of my achilles heels...maybe my left one?...and they came out of the kitchen cooked to perfection.  Yum, Yum!

It is average pricing to any other upscale bar, so don't be surprised if you table's bill of apps and drinks comes to $100 quickly, but if your company is worthy then the 2 hour event will be worth it!

And enjoy some tater tots for me!

Stuck

I have written about milestones and approaching turning points in your life before this post.  As we all approach moments worth noting, times in our life that mark a change, or chapters that close so that others may open, it would be foolish to believe that this isn't something that affects most everyone.

Transition.  We all do it, but what is it?  How do we define it?  Or does it define us?  Is that a choice we make or is it one that is made for us?  Is it predestined?  And why, if it is only and truly a 'moment' does it have the power to affect us so greatly?

I'm turning 30 this year.  It's a 'big one' by many people's standards, or at least 'big' by their perceived realities.  I'm not sure how universal that belief is, but it seems to be a prevalent thought in the US that 30th birthday parties should be large celebrations - party worthy - and on a grand scale.  I a-liken it to a small reception or shower of some kind.  Many throw bashes or invite friends on getaways to mark the special nature of moving from one decade to the next.  Others take it as a time to reflect and really gather their thoughts around where they've been and where they're heading.  I'm finding I fall into the latter category, despite having decided to treat myself to a spa appointment at the Waldorf Astoria as my birthday present (do I get to say "to myself" when my husbands's paying for it only by thought and actually we are paying for it by joint credit card for point purposes??? But that's neither here nor there...)

Anyway.  Last night we celebrated a friend's 30th, which was hosted by her former boss in the city, and it was beautifully done.  The caterer and bar service were all top-notch, and it was clear how much my friend is loved by so many.  Still, I wonder, despite the glitz and the glam, is there happiness inside her or angst?  Indifference and platitude or fear and hope for what's to come?  And what creates that?  Is it the wonderment around wanting to know how much of what we do is actually something we ordain or that which is ordained for us?  Does having any emotional sentiment around such milestones even make sense or are we just wasting our time?  The closer we get to my birthday the more I wonder, not because I'm wrought with the fear of changing decades, but I wonder if all I have accomplished in the last decade means anything.  Did what I do impact anyone in a positive way?  Is what I'm going to do for the next decade going to?  Am I helping people or just surviving, passing unnoticed from one day to the next, until I turn 40 and come back to the same spot to wonder if I made a difference or if I simply existed?  And am I putting too much effort into wondering any of that or is it important and smart to reflect, needed in fact, to move one's life into the directly it could go?

...or....does it even matter?  Alas, I fear we shall just have to see as we cross our own versions of those thresholds ourselves.

Milestones

I started thinking about it the other day.  Milestones, such as birthdays, mark changing stages of our lives.  This year I turn 30, and it has been only recently that I have truly begun pondering the significance of that and understanding why so many people irk at the notion of the approaching changing decade.

For me, and I know that I may be the minority, I have always felt 30.  My mother used to jokingly call me a 30 year-old trapped in an (enter age here) body.  It became extremely prevalent in my teenage years, but as I climbed through my twenties I felt myself growing into my skin.  I felt myself becoming the person I had always felt inside, and as I approach 30 I feel like I'm reaching the pinnacle.  Post 30, I'm not sure what to expect, and in that I understand the way others felt about 30.

However, looking back, I believe one of the greatest learning point I can give is that action mitigates regret.  If you are reaching a milestone in your life and feeling uneasy about it, take inventory.  What have you done that you are proud of?  What have you done that 'scared' you or forced you to stretch as a person?  What did you not do that you had wished you had done?

Anything falling into the last category?  Take those first.  Make them a priority.  Plan out your next 1-3 years and find a way to include it.  Maybe it's a trip you keep wishing you could take.  Maybe it's saving a little more thank you are (or for the first time!).  Maybe it's spending time with people you've neglected or put on the back burner because you felt other priorities needed your attention.  Start planning.  Carve out a way to save a few bucks and move things around so you can see those people. The more you 'do', the more you see yourself as an active participant in your life, the less you regret, and the more the milestones become celebrations of your life and its accomplishments instead of looming dates served with a side of dread.

And why do we take the time to do these things? Because we're worth the effort.

The Art of Patience

I just started (well, finished I guess is probably a better description!) watching "Marco Polo" 3 days ago on Netflix. Happily, I'll say that Netflix is doing a rather decent job creating TV shows/series that are intriguing and well filmed.  Marco Polo has been extremely enjoyable!

It's interesting to watch culture set in a different time and place from my own.  I find it fascinating, and understanding how people thought and reacted is always a great juxtaposition to today.  In fact, it's a rather great reminder of something that has begun to be found in increasingly short supply today: Patience.

There was one part in the show where one character is talking to another specifically on the subject, and if one could just be patient, forgo the temptations of the "easy" and "convenient", the true path/the reason for what you do will present itself and become clear.  It is in haste that incorrect decisions are made.

This also followed immediately behind a night of watching Kung Fu Panda in which Master Shifu definitely struggles with this concept.  Thusly, it became two nights of a reminder of the importance of patience.

And this is all extremely important because I have very little.  My mother-in-law dubbed me a "doer" a long time ago and it's true.  I don't sit idly very well, and I find things to do and occupy my time so as to keep sharp, alert, and well-learned.  Now, while these qualities aren't bad, the need to consistently "progress" can become a hindrance when the truth is one has very little control over much of the things in life.  Especially the things revolving around someone else's life.

My husband has recently begun discussing looking for a new job.  While he is at a loss for the specifics of what he wants to do or where he would like to work, the minute he told me he had been toying with the idea for some time my mind went to work.  I started Googling companies and jobs, sending him things in email and forwarding posts I would find.  In my head I had a whole system and plan laid out.  However, I'm not my husband.  We don't think the same way in this area of our lives, and he prefers to take his time and consider all angles, not rushing anything until his internal clock has "dinged", if you will, signaling it is time for him to put in the effort and make the change.  So far it's served him well, and that is part of why he excels where he does.  However, it is 100% counter-intuitive to how I react.  Therefore, I have come to battle my inner patience much in the last few weeks.

As a result, the movie and series reminders of the need to revel in quiet and reflection, that patience endures and often prologues accomplishment was needed.  I truly believe we live in a world that touts patience and rewards instant everything, and that directly counters all of how humans have built what they've built up 'til now.

So, I submit to what life is clearly working to teach me: better patience.  And, in the glorified works of the Panda, Po, "Inner peace".

Foster Day 1

So we have officially been okayed to foster a dog for a nearby shelter.  After a long discussion, much time, and a chance for our current dog to get to know the dogs that were possible fosters for us, we found a match, and we are meeting her at our house in a few hours.

In the meantime, we've had to 'set up home'.  I forgot how much you have to prepare for a new dog: crate, leash, bowls, food, towels, blankets for the crate, and determining what you need to bathe the dog (as that's the first thing we'll do once she arrives from the shelter.)  So in preparing, our current dog has been running around the house, following us, all confused.  He's been in and out of her crate more times now than I can count, and is moping around the house.  (if you don't have a dog or have seen a dog mope around, it's actually quite sad).   However, we know he likes her, because when they met yesterday they just had a great time, so we are sure that once she arrives he'll be excited instead of uncertain.

Again, it's day one, but we are excited.  If you feel fostering is a part of something you want to do, it's always good to reach out to a shelter and see if you would be a good fit or a good fit for a dog in need.  After all, a more well-adjusted dog makes for a happier adoptee.  However, understand that the foster dog needs you and will be a dependent whom you need to care for constantly is of the utmost importance.  This isn't a toy, it's truly an animal in need, and we cannot wait to help our little Cinder out!

Adopt A Dog

My husband and I today found a dog in a shelter we thought we really might like, so we made the trip out to the shelter to meet this pup.  We have a corgi, as some of you know, and sometimes we're perfectly contented being a fun little family of three.  Other times, it's almost as if Ein is sad or wants to play but just not with us and we wonder if he'd love having a sister.

We've toyed with the idea for about a year now, and I just keep an eye out.  Knowing how he is with other dogs, we know he gets along with them and isn't super pushy or alpha-y, but we also know he can get annoyed by overly hyper dogs (as he's the biggest couch potato ever) and we also know with his super short reach a really big dog won't be a good fit for him.  So I have been looking.

About six months ago our breeder had another litter of puppies (yes we got Ein from a breeder.  Please please PLEASE do your homework on a breeder if you are, in fact, going to purchase a dog from a breeder instead of adopting from a shelter.  Just because the person's a 'breeder' doesn't mean they should be breeding dogs or that the dogs are kept in good conditions. Please just be smart.  Don't feed the fire of irresponsible breeding).  Anyway, back to the point - our breeder knew we were toying with the idea and called to let us know she and another breeder on the list had female 4 mo. old puppies who would be a good fit with Ein.  My husband and I thought about it, but I had just started a new job and couldn't take the 2 weeks to Work From Home to acclimate the new puppy and work on training...and, to be honest, we couldn't food the $1200 bill for the new puppy plus the $300 a month dog-walking bill we knew would be needed until the puppy was about 10-12 months old and could hold it for a full day.

Therefore, we reluctantly turned the puppy down and hoped another family could be happily blessed. Still, we've been looking, and we've really had an eye out for a corgi.  About three weeks ago a shelter I check in with had a corgi mix that still wasn't adopted so we went to visit.  After learning more about the dog and her needs, we just knew it we weren't a good fit for the dog.  Then another shelter had a corgi mix pop up last week.  I called this morning and she was still available, so we headed over to take a look.

Adorable.  So sweet, totally a snuggle-bug, and absolutely loved my husband.  We visited for a little and also met with another dog we noticed while we were there.  She was also a cutie, but a much bigger dog, albeit just as sweet.

If you haven't thought hard, and I mean really considered, adopting from a shelter, you should.  I worked at one in college, and I'm not just saying that to justify why I think adopting is so great.  These dogs, you guys, are wonderful.  The majority of them just had really stupid or horrible humans who shouldn't have been given a dog in the first place because they either couldn't handle them or didn't believe dogs should be 'adopted for life' / 'through thick and thin' like every other dependent you have.  So it's sad- these sweet, amazing, lovable creatures who just want to run up to you and remind you that you are the absolute most important thing in their life - are waiting for a new owner who can see them for the amazing beings they are.  And they are truly amazing.  If I could foster dogs and had a huge back yard that was fenced in I absolutely would.  They deserve it, and the owners who come to adopt them should be able to adopt dogs who have been helped through their trauma by being fostered.  I think it's the greatest thing people do for animals.

Anyway - we still don't know if it's a fit yet.  Again, adopting and owning a pet isn't a 'cool' thing or a 'fun' thing - it's a real responsibility, and you need to take it as such.  And while the two girls we saw were adorable and if we didn't already have Ein I would have taken them both, we have to consider our current baby when looking at others, so we are still unsure of what we're doing.  However, and in the meantime, I truly hope that you look into adoption.  Yes, you are saving a life, but I promise they will actually bless yours more.

Small Business Bliss - Direct Sales

Have you ever sat around and thought either fleetingly or long and hard about owning your own business? I wouldn't be surprised, since something like 70% of Americans do.  There's this dream of owning something that is romaticised and understood as the way to truly own one's life.  Having a J.O.B (or 'just over broke') will keep you perpetually, well, just over broke.  Being employed makes few people wealthy.  It keeps the majority downtrodden and living a life that is a paycheck to paycheck existence.

I don't think you sit around and fleetingly think (and definitely not think long and hard) about how you want to live a paycheck to paycheck life.  That's not exactly what most people dream about.

No, they dream about freedom, about ownership and earning themselves a life that gives them options.  That also means that most people have one of two options: they can open a business that is brick and mortar, or open a business that is electronic.  Obviously, if you're logical, you would instantly realize that the latter is more lucrative, as it takes the need for paying rent and electricity and  the other steadfast expenses associated with brick and mortar locations out of the equation.  Many of these options lie in Direct Sales.  Still, hundreds of people scoff at these businesses.  Instead, they believe franchises and brick and mortar are superior to their DS brothers.  How, they wonder, could you ever get involved in one of those?  Maybe a better question is, how is it you believe $100,000 investment for a store or franchise is a good bargain?  You'll be married to it 24/7 if you don't have the people to work for you, and you already start severely in the hole.  Direct Sales requires an investment, yes, and you need to be mindful of the company with whom you start...but wouldn't you want to do that same research if you bought a franchise?

So, if you're wishing to open your own business, and you haven't really taken a good, close, hard look at direct sales, I'm certain you should take the extra minute and do so.  Being personally involved in one, I can tell you it has blown all my expectations.  Treat it like a business, and you will be rewarded as such.  Treat it like a hobby, and, well, like any hobby brink and mortar you'll have to 'shut your doors', so to speak.  But with the same small business perks, if you incorporate yourself correctly, and tax season next year will give you some happy write offs for things you need in your everyday life anyway.

Make the investment in yourself.  It's worth it.

Rethinking Beauty

I want to revisit and earlier post I wrote about how the industry needs to start seeing beauty as something more than "perfect" curves and a size 0-2.  In that light, today I saw a post on Yahoo! about a plus size 16 model.  She was curvy and beautiful, but not unhealthy, and that's the best part.  I believe there is still this dichotomy in people's minds about size and health, that somehow a size 0-6 is healthy and a size above 10 is not.  That's not true.  Having been a size 12 since I was 18, whether I was dancing/working out 3-4 days a week, following a vegan diet, or just existing, I've always been within a 10 pound flux, and those 10 pounds always put be at a size 12.  Now, sometimes the size fit a little nicer than others, and aside from the temporary gain of 15-20 pounds after my mom died, I've really hovered in this 10 pound flux consistently.

And after battling myself for more than those 10 years, I'm finally getting it: that's JUST my body.  My husband can't believe it, often commenting "for someone who eats as well as you do, you should be so much thinner"...and the true part is he doesn't mean it maliciously, he means it in the way the rest of the world views sizes like mine: that we must be doing something wrong.

Now, if I get on a scale it says my BMI is 33...not going to lie, that's not a super awesome number.  Ever.  For anyone.  So I got a trainer for a while, and he even noted that after a certain point I stop losing and start bulking (not in a bad way, but in a way a really solid pit bull is stocky....and the way he'll never be as thin as a greyhound).

So I've learned to try loving myself more.  And it's freeing.  REALLY freeing!  And when I see this picture of this size 16 model on Yahoo!, my hope is that other people see what I see when they look at it...not the initial "omg, is that really beautiful?" or "her stomach is so not Jennifer Aniston's", but rather, "she is solid, and beautiful, and not fat and roll-y".  Because people like us aren't - we try and we work at it and we make the right choices, but we will never become the size 2s and 4s we have been taught to aspire to for so long.

AND THAT'S OK.  It's time to start teaching people that HEALTHY is BEAUTIFUL.  Choosing what's GOOD for your body is BEAUTIFUL, and whatever size that leads you to as an equilibrium, is YOUR beautiful.

Demand Reality

I believe it's time.  It's time the fashion, movie, advertisement, {insert here} industry to start believing that women who are not a size 0,2, 4 are beautiful.

When I was in college I decided I wanted to be the first designer to have a runway full of only size 6s and above.  I felt so strongly about it my bones ached.  Only, problem?  I don't actually make clothes. Nope, not a designer.  Just someone who is so obsessed with Project Runway in a previously life I must have designed for royalty or something.  

So, as I came to grips with the fact that I would never show with Versace, Gucci, and Chanel, I worked to calm my heart while I waited. waited for someone who saw the world in the same way I did to make the statement that things need to change.

I enjoy the rising awareness of the blond plus size model.  I love that Jennifer Lawrence loves the way she looks (and, yes, she is skinny!), and I love that the high school girl petitioned Seventeen magazine to only show women with real sized figures.

But then I turned on E! and saw Giuliana Rancic and just wanted to feed her a peanut butter sandwich through the TV on the spot.  Sweetheart, Holocaust-like bone structure is so not attractive.  Seriously, Bill, feed your woman something with some fat...and on a regular basis.  Seconds after I had that thought, I saw Kelly Osbourne.  She is gorgeous.  If we, the world, could work on celebrating real-size beauty (shape differences, size differences, healthy realities) we would be in such a much better place.  ...and I don't mean going to the "My Big Fat Fabulous Life" size either, which suggests to viewers you're either going to be skinny and happy or you can be super fat and heavy.  No.  I'm talking putting a spotlight on health, and sizes 6-12 that are represented by healthy, curvy, true-sized women.

That is all.

The Double Sided Edge of Procrastination

Sometimes you know what to do and do it.  Other times you don't have any clue what to do so you do nothing.  The one, though, that makes you walk on a very sharp edge is when you know what to do and you don't do it.

That, my friends, is procrastination.  And if you're not careful you can fall down the wrong end of that blade!

Procrastination is the voice that says, "Just check Facebook again" or "Maybe I should go get the mail" or "I should probably see if I have more emails..."  That, my friends, is procrastination, and it can be like the black hole of TV and just cause people to waste away.

Some will argue that procrastination can cause you to produce your best work.  I'm not disagreeing ... when you have a hard deadline.  Procrastinating on a paper knowing it's due Friday at 5 is different because you have to produce something by Friday at 5 or risk a zero, so whether you start it three weeks early or the night before.  Knowing there's a final day and time can sometimes make people who procrastinate produce their best work.

No, I'm not talking about that kind of procrastinating.  I'm talking about your WISH LIST.  The things you wanted to do with your life, or day, or month, or year....but had no hard deadline nor had to get done for any reason.  Those are the ones where procrastination can snatch your list and make it disappear while making you think you're enjoying your days.  These are the times when procrastination turns into regrets 10, 20, 30 years down the road.

Want to work on alleviating that regret and working to fight against procrastination?  Start by giving yourself just one item to accomplish today, big or small.  Then another, and another every few days.  When you can do them for a week, reward yourself!  Take yourself for another cup of coffee or a mani-pedi.  Just make sure it's a reward you don't usually treat yourself to "just because".  Otherwise it won't feel special and you won't feel like you really are taking your life back!

So here's to living for the now...not for the now and easy.  Because, let's face it, you're 10-year older self will love the new stories those life choices create.

Happy New Year! Happy Eating!

It's 2015!! WOOT!  Happy New Year all!

First I want to give a big THANK YOU to all my amazing readers out there.  You are the most amazing people, and I hope you know that you inspire me to continue writing.  I hope that your 2015 has started off full of smile, wonder, and laughter.

And, if you're in the midwest, sadly, a LOT of cold!

So, for those of you stuck in the cold, it's a bit more challenging to get your outside "workout" in.  I put it in quotes because it's always best to do your moving in normal clothes doing everyday things, like taking the stairs, going for a walk on your lunch break, parking further away, taking your dog an extra block, etc.  However, in the cold, if you're like me, your entire thought process is OMG GET BACK INSIDE! :)  Therefore, you may find yourself a little more sedentary than normal, and after the holidays, it's important to think about ways to stay healthy.

So where do you turn first when looking at your health?  Your FOOD!  Yes, your food is the majority of everything: weight, health, physique, emotions, energy.  You name it, it stems from the food you eat.  So how do you take back your life?  Take back your food choices.  Think clean, whole food options.  Think colorful.  Think NATURAL (i.e. the non-GMO version, the wild-caught, the organic fruits and veggies).  Opt for the whole food options such as an orange instead of orange juice, a full chicken breast with skin and bone vs slices of chicken "breast" deli meat, real asparagus vs anything from a can or freezer.  The more you can find it like it would come in the wild, the better it is for you.

And, as I like to fondly remember from a book-mentor of mine, 3 meals, only snack if you are so famished you'd literally eat your arm, and make sure you eat in a quiet area.  NO TV.  Pay attention to your food, and it'll reward you.

*hugs* and Happy New Year!