Reading for Fun - November

Hey all!

So sorry this has taken me so long to post!  My husband and I had the distinct pleasure of spending 2 weeks in Europe in November, and then when we got home I found that the rest of the month had passed me up and I had failed to post anything!

So we are fixing that now!

November was spent in limbo for a while.  With leaving for Europe on the 3rd, I didn't know what I was going to make as my 'daily do' while on vacation, so I just waited.  When we arrived in Amsterdam we walked 17,000+ steps our first full day there.  As a result, my husband and I were so sore that I spent a good 30 minutes stretching! (I was able to convince him to do about 2 minutes worth, but it was better than nothing!).  That lead me to believe that that was how I would spend my month - stretching!  It obviously made sense!  We were walking the whole time we were in Europe, so why not?

And then we got on our river cruise and our room was a tiny little cruise ship room.  I could touch my toes and stretch my calves, but that was about it.  Time for plan B...but what was it?

Then I remembered I downloaded the book Discovery of Witches.  Someone had recommended it, saying it was like a hybrid of Harry Potter and Twilight, and very long. So, I started reading.  Overall, I would give the series about an 7.5-8/10: not amazing, but interesting enough for me to want to finish.  Plus, she writes her trilogy in a way where the book's ending is like the dropping of the curtain at a theater show at intermission...it's a pause, but it's not done!!

So, 560+ pages into book one and I found myself done, but not satisfied.  What to do?  Read book 2!  I continued in this fashion and suddenly I had finished the whole trilogy in 18 days!

Apparently, November was all about reading for enjoyment.  Now, December will be about Reading for Self-Improvement.

PS - any book recommendations are welcome!

Be More Feminine - Day 24

Failing.  So much.  Ugh!

Today I took action to finally clean up my nails, remove the old and chipping nail polish, and just put a clear coat on them to tidy them up.  However, this comes after a day of falling into all the old and bad habits.  A WHOLE DAY!  Guys, it was bad.  I was biting and picking and pulling and fiddling all day.  My nail polish was all chipped and two of my nails were back down to their shortest possible length - i.e. nubs.

My husband even caught me doing it and chided me for it.  In fact, he kept berating for the fact that I was ruining something I'd "spent perfectly good money on," and he had a point!  And I was happy and thankful that he brought my attention to it (like 20 times that day, granted), but he did.  However, the fact that he had to call me out on it bummed me out more! I've been so good this month and there I went throwing it all away in one day.  Actually it was more like minutes really.  It only takes a few seconds to ruin your nails, and I was mindlessly pulling at them all day.

The leftover remnants of yesterday's bad habits rolled into today.  I didn't pick or bite at my nails, but the hang nails started.  If you ever wonder why you get hang nails or frayed skin around your cuticles, it's because you pick at them and break their natural and neutral state.

Must. Get. Better.  Duly noted.

Be More Feminine - Day 19

What a great week!  Tuesday (the 18th) was my husband and my three year anniversary!  Woohoo!!  What a great feeling!

To celebrate, we decided to book reservations at Piccolo Sogno, and we decided to do it on a Monday, the 17th.  I have the pleasure of working from home on Mondays and I felt not only less guilty as a pet parent (having to crate my dog for a few hours at dinner only instead of all day and then another few hours for dinner) but also excited because Monday nights are far easier nights to get a reservation than Friday or Saturday.  And sure enough, they had a spot!

Well, on the 15th a friend and I had treated ourselves to mani/pedis, and my nails were (and still are, 4 days later!) on point!  Then, I made sure to give myself plenty of time to do my hair and makeup on Monday so they would look like perfection.  In addition, it was a beautiful 80 degrees so I could wear cute shoes, leggings, and a dressed up tunic for dinner.  Man, by the time 5:30 rolled around and it was time for me to head out to meet him for dinner, I looked so classy.

And then I stepped outside!  Apparently the Chicago wind doesn't disappoint because it was extremely gusty.  What did that mean?  All the effort put into my hair was semi for naught.

What did that teach me?  Perfection is an illusion.  Put in the effort to make yourself feel special and important, confident and secure, and the beauty will follow.  But if you're working completely on making sure your exterior is infallible, well, you'll never be satisfied.

And so I went to dinner, hair windblown and all.  And you know what? My husband still looked at me with doting eyes and said I looked so beautiful.  ...what a good man.  ;-)

Be More Feminine - Day 7

Yesterday my boss noticed my nails were done.  And then today I noticed my nail polish was chipping.  These are things to which I never paid attention before, because, quite frankly, I never had my nails done.  On the flip side, however, I am picking at my nails far less than before, though the habit isn't waning.  I'm simply noticing and making myself quit more often.  :)

On a different note, tomorrow I get my hair cut.  To be honest, I'm terrified.  Having not had much luck in that department in the past, I'm quite nervous.  There is a part of me, though, that is excited.  Change.  Change is good.  Change pushes you.  Change grows you.  And luckily, in this department, it can always grow back!

Be More Feminine - Day 5

So this month is all about me more "femme", as the French say.  I want to find a way to be prouder of my femininity and appearance.  I believe that I haven't looked haggard or disheveled, but I do believe I can be more polished and chic.  As a result, I want to take the month to work on that.

Here is what this month is NOT:

• Harping on my weight
• Believing that I am not beauty
• Believing that I am not worthy
• Having everything perfect
• Dressing "to the 9s" everyday

Instead, here are the things I decided to focus on:

• Stop picking/biting my nails
• Have them polished at all times, or (as polish chips) shaped and well groomed
• Put effort into my hair so it's not "just in a ponytail" which has become my new staple on work days
• Choosing clothing that is truly an outfit / goes together, not just whatever is closest or looks 'just ok'.  
• Wear jewelry that creates a "finish" to the look.

So far we are on day 6.  I had told my husband that this month includes getting a haircut and he asked if I was going to change it up or keep it the same.  I said I wanted to change it up, maybe go short, like, chin length, and he responded with a resounding, "Oh thank God!" which I took as the OK to try something very different.  That is coming on the 8th, so I'll keep you posted!  (It will also require me to put more actual effort into my hair since I can't pull it back in a pony!!)

I've also now painted my nails twice and my toes once.  The first go around took a while to trim everything and clean up the cuticles, but I will admit that looking at them over the last 6 days has brought me a giddy sense of delight.  Having my nails done when I was younger was always a treat, so seeing them done now brings me emotionally back to that teenage 'nod' to a job well done or a special time to celebrate.  That's pretty cool.

I've also have always been sure to leave the house with at least eyeliner, lipstick, and gloss on.  Admittedly, that also has made me feel more polished and refined.  All in all, I think this is going to be a "bon" month!!

French Day 25 - Feeling Proud

Today I watched Muzzy - an old, language program produced by BBC back I don't even know when. I used to watch it in grade school when I had my Spanish "classes" - the once a week post-school sessions to teach Spanish basics.  And it was then that I fell in love with it!

So when I became and was a teacher, I used it every year to help my Spanish 1 students get introduced to the language and later in the year feel proud in all they had accomplished, as it was a sort of benchmark for them to see and understand the progress that they'd made.

And you know what?  It worked for me today too!  I watched parts 1 & 2 today in French with French subtitles, and I was so excited!  Partly because I know Spanish and partly as a thanks to the work I've been doing so far!  I could follow nearly everything!  Yes I learned a thing or two (like the spelling for "how many," which up to this point I had only heard and tried to ascertain the spelling on my own), but my 20 minutes of French study today left me full of pride and excitement!  I might not be able to carry on a full conversation with a true Frenchmen, but I'm on my way!  And that's a great feeling!

French Day 22 - Progress!

OMG where have I been this month?!  Sick.  That's where I've been.  I'm so sorry all, but I was heavily out with what must have been the flu for a good 8 days.  I didn't do French study during those days, but I am working on catching up!

I'm on Rosetta Stone Lesson 1, Unit 1, #4 and Coffee Break French's Level 1 lesson 23!  I'm super proud of myself.  I can do the following:

• Tell you my name, where I'm from, who my husband is, and ask about you
• Count (always helpful!)
• Explain the weather
• Order at a restaurant/cafe
• Explain some issues with my hotel room
• Use all the pronouns
• Semi confidently conjugate (positive and negative):  I have, I would like, s/he has, I love, I understand, he's drinking/eating, s/he's wearing, etc.

....I just can't spell anything!!!

So - I think I can get through a BASICO BASICO conversation/a day in France.

Je voudrais comprender (more) fracais!

French Day 2

Well, we have moved from Spanish to French!  The new Spanish teaching material is successfully uploaded to Teachers Pay Teachers (visit me!!! Stephanie Caprini Inc) and the new month has started.  This month, we are learning French!!!

The reason?  (1) I just love the language.  That and Italian. I would also like to learn Italian.  (2) The reason I chose French instead of Italian is that my husband and I are heading to Europe in 2 months and we will be stopping in Germany, France, and Switzerland.  Therefore, French it is!!

Lucky for me, I started about 6 months ago using the podcast called Coffee Break French.  I used Coffee Break Spanish when I was teaching and found it incredibly useful.  Therefore, it was the logical choice when deciding what program to use to teach myself French.  I got through about 10 "courses" (they're 15 minute classes, so totally doable).  Now, this month I am focused on spending my 20-minutes a day learning French, so I will be picking back up where I left off (and, if we're being honest, probably revisiting a few courses that I need to refresh my memory on).  However, I'm also a very visual learner, so I am taking some of these days to go through learning the spelling of the words I have already learned.

So, saunte to vous, and abientot!

Spanish Material Day 23 - So Not Interested

Blaaaaaaaaah.  Oh my Goooooooood.  I don't waaaaaannaaaaaa.

I might sound like a nine year-old complaining about broccoli or doing the dishes, but that's how my thirty-one year-old self feels.  Like a nine year old.  Facing chores.  Or broccoli.  Waaaaaaaaah.

I came home from work today, plopped myself on the couch between my husband and my doggie, and sat.  We went through our days; we contemplated dinner; we settled for protein bars, cheesy almond crackers, sparking water, and whatever remnants of a movie were playing on TV; and we were accepting the coming evening with inevitability.

And then he went to do his evening video gaming with his friends.  I was left on the couch with a sleeping doggie and Facebook.  As I scrolled, watching videos of people who inspire others to overcome obstacles, taking quizzes of 'which color best represents me', and watching the photos of others scroll up...up...up and away, I suddenly stopped on a photo of a quote.  I like quotes, so they tend to catch my eye, but generally I glance at them and move on.  However, this one said, "Don't work for a company for 8 hours, then go home and not work on your goals.  You're not tired.  You're uninspired."  I read it and tilted my head up and down in agreement, thinking "yeah, that's about right," and then scrolled right passed it.

And continued with my day.

Then twenty to thirty minutes later I started feeling restless.  I wasn't anxious or in need of moving around, I was sitting uncomfortably in my lie.  I was that uninspired person.  I had a goal for this month, and that was to create more Spanish teaching material.  And I wasn't doing shit today.  No excuse!  So I sighed really loudly, threw a personal, mental temper-tantrum, and opened a new Word document to get started.

And I got started.  And I finished a whole new quick 40-point quiz.  And it was a constant battle of the wills to get it done.  Not one of my better days, but I can say that at least I did it.

And you know what?????  I even went on to turn off the TV and work on my book, the sequel to Living with B, for an hour and a half.  WOOT!  Here's to motivation and goals, even if the transition from inert to movement is painful.

Spanish Material - Day 20

It's getting easier!  I built a whole 2 page quiz for my Spanish Adverb "lesson" in 20 minutes.  It's all about leveraging what you already have to build what you need next.  Why waste time when you can leverage it?

What does leveraging mean when it comes to teaching paperwork?  Using what you've already built to create your quizzes and tests.  In the case of the adverb quiz, I used the worksheet and the initial guide that I built to build my quiz.  After all, if I wanted my students to learn the items on the guide in the first place, and I gave them a homework assignment with other items to work through, it would lead one to believe that those items hold importance.  Therefore, it would behoove me to leverage the already existing work to build the framework for the items on the quiz.  And that's exactly what I did.  I told the original guide and worksheet, switched around a few of the words, selected new words, added or reduced a few of the sections to hone in on the important items, and VOILA!  Quiz!

Takeaway?  Leverage your time.  Success is not begotten merely by effort, but rather by those who make the most of their efforts.  Thus, it is vital to leverage.

And just in time for those of you who need to build material for the new school year!  Cheers!

High Five Ramen

Oh. My. Good God.

Best.  Food.  ......Ever.

It's Tuesday.  I worked 10 hours today, I barely took a 15 minute lunch, and I could feel the cough of a cold devilishly pushing its way into my reality.  As I plugged away, heading toward the bus, my brain started rattling off all the things I could do for the rest of the evening.  Almost immediately, my stomach started filling with a queazy humming as it thought, "Oh God, am I really going to be at work within 12 hours?  And, what, between now and then I'll, what, sleep, sit on my couch, watch olympics, and snuggle with my dog and then that's it?  Back to this?  ...and it's only Wednesday tomorrow?

Suddenly I wanted nothing more than a change.  Immediately after that thought my stomach spoke, and it said one thing:  Food.

No, I wasn't hungry, although I could tell I would be within an hour or so.  Instead, it yearned for food - hearty, delicious, real, inspired food.  A salad of mozzarella, sad lettuce that would go bad if it weren't eaten in 24 hours, and one tomato hardly seemed "inspired.  It seemed as sad and monotonous as the regularity of what my day had faced and would seem to face if the plans continued unchanged.

Then a thought came.  High Five Ramen.  My husband had wanted to go for his birthday in February, but the restaurant is a tiny hole in the wall, doesn't open until 6pm, and only takes walk-ins.  It's well-known that it's commonplace to see a line of people waiting to be seated.  We hadn't wanted to deal with 'standing and waiting' in the deepest part of winter, so we had decided against going for his birthday dinner.

Well, suddenly, as I checked my watch, the place beckoned like a lighthouse to a drifting boat.  *Potential*.  I curiously checked my watched and calculated if I could get home, take the dog out, feed him, my husband would make it home, and we could arrive at the ramen shop all before 6.  I knew, as it was Tuesday night, that we would have a far better chance of getting in on a Tuesday than a Thursday evening, and forget a weekend.  And suddenly, as I finished walking for the bus, I decided.  That was it.  We were going to High Five Ramen for dinner.

And HOLY BANANAS is it amazing.  I ordered the High Five (no spice) and my husband ordered the Seasonal Special (half spice), and ever ounce of my body hummed with joy as I took my first bite.  It was warm, hearty, pork flavored, filled with love, purpose, and internal 'hug' that comes with any homemade, made-to-order, small batch cuisine.  I can't remember the last time I had life-changing food like that.  No joke.

High five, High Five Ramen.  You may even kick my devilish cough right back underground if the miso in the ramen is as effective as it was gratifying.

Spanish Material - Day 16

I officially have 4 new worksheets for my Teachers Pay Teachers store.  I plan on uploading everything at the end of the month, as I would like them all to be available at the same time for those needing comprehensive work.  I have built 2 guides - one for adverbs and one for prepositions/clauses to help with infinitive/indicative/subjunctive understanding.  Additionally I have created 1 worksheet for each of the guides, thus the 4 items.  I would like to build a quiz so then I have six.

Again, and surprisingly, I'm not as quick in my building of material and thinking as I was before.  I believe part of that is due to the fact that I simply don't do this on a day-in day-out basis anymore.  As a result, my brain is not wired to think in 'worksheet' mode.  Additionally, I know that part of it is also because I don't have to build any specific curriculum or sub-course or quarter curriculum, so I don't have a definitive start and end point.  Amazingly, not having one - or rather, having the ability to start and stop anywhere you choose - leads to greater vagueness and definition of scope.  When you have to teach or reteach X, no matter how odd the parameters or how many gaps you see that you have to fit into one lesson, creativity flourishes as you have to overcome one very specific obstacle.  Your brain starts working on all the possible ways to complete it.  But when it doesn't have a given problems - when anything can be the problem - it's not sure when to 'draw the line', if you will.

However, I have outlined that I will be continuing with Adverbs and Prepositions.  Then I would like to include at least 1 more before the end of the month.  Here's the new teaching year ahead!

Spanish Material- Day 7

It's been a week into the new month, and this month I am upping the amount of teaching material I sell on Teachers Pay Teachers, a website for teachers who want to sell and buy other teaching material.  I started listing all my teaching paperwork there when I was teaching because I had to build all my own material for the 5 years I was teaching.  Truthfully, it's been an immensely rewarding experience, as the feedback from those who have purchased my work has been wonderful.  It's a truly rewarding moment to know that what you have built has helped others.

Well, it's been about 3 years since I created teaching paperwork for Spanish, and as a result, I have seen my sales decrease because people don't buy the same thing multiple times.  Therefore, I have dedicated this month to building more Spanish material to help my followers and clients.

So far, I have built paperwork around Adverbs and Subjunctive -vs- indicative phrases.  I dedicate about 20 min a day to building material, and I can admit that having been out of the game, I don't build them as quickly as I used to. I find I have to think harder and longer about what to include and how to build the handouts than I did when I was doing it daily.  I used to be able to build a full test in 20 minutes if I needed to.  I was extremely efficient.  While I may not be as quick as I was before, I want to ensure the quality of my work is up to the same standards of the items already listed for sale.

And so that is what I'm doing.  The coolest part of this, and a byproduct I hadn't anticipated when I scheduled this month as Building Spanish material month, is that I get the pleasure of doing work while watching the Olympics!  It also reminds me how vitally important it is to encourage and build bilingual children in today's global society.  Knowing another language opens so many doors and expands your understanding and appreciation of culture, that anything I can do to help promote global thinking is a genuine pleasure.

Next month, I think I'm going to work on building my very minimal french so that when we go to Europe I'll know more!

Cheers!  And go team USA!!

Sex Day 21 - Renewed

Walking home today, I had a fleeting thought:  "You should put something sexy on for him," it said.

I kept walking, took the dog out, and started making dinner.  As the water boiled and I was busying myself with two or three other things, the thought echoed in my head, and it made me pause.  You know?  Given the atrocity and horrific reality that was Day 17, this little dancing idea was a good one!  Yes, not only were we going to have sex, but I was going to put on an outfit and be all sexy around the house in the meantime.  There's nothing better than the anticipation, and that is exactly what I was going to give myself: the pleasure of anticipation and the satisfaction of watching his face when he walked through the front door.

And boy did it work.  We waited a few hours before having sex, but in the meantime I went around the house in my outfit and enjoyed the oogly eyes and stares both when I was and when (he thought) I wasn't looking.  And it so worked.  By the time we had sex I was so turned on it made up for all the awfulness that befell me earlier in the week.  It was funny too, because, by my reactions and attitude during sex, he thought he was doing all the amazing work.  Don't get me wrong, he definitely had a part in the pleasure, but I was so elated with myself and how much more enjoyable sex ended up being, that I was even more involved during the actual act of sex than even I had anticipated.  

If you find you and yours have met with a rut, don't just change things up, but do whatever it is you need to do to build up the excitement brought about by anticipation. Both of you will be glad you did!

Sex Day 17 - Tired

Not necessarily physically tired.  Although, I guess when you lounge around the house all day, on your 'day off', it could cause you to be lazier and more tired than normal. But no. It's not that kind of tired.  I mean more tired-bored.  It's the kind of tired where you yawn because your brain is unenthused; the kind where you check your watch a few times more than you should; the kind where you start day-dreaming something more exciting then the reality currently sitting right before your eyes.

Yes, that kind of tired.  And that's how I felt during sex today.  Why?  Who the hell knows.  It's not like one of us wasn't having a good time.  ...I think.  He made some noise and it ended well.  For him. So I think it was good.  But me?  I was so checked-out the whole time it felt more like a chore.

And honestly?  That terrified me. I'm not that person!  I love sex!  Ever since I discovered it in my teens I've loved it.  And I was never.  ever.  EVER tired of it.  Ever.  So I laid there, half-heartedly participating, day-dreaming something else.  The worst part? It wasn't even like another sex fantasy.  It was like "hmm, I still have to shower later and make dinner. Oh, I probably need to write that email.  Could I give myself a pedicure later?  Ugh, is he not done yet?"

EEEEEEW!  Who is this person?  I was so stunned and put-off by the whole thing I literally took a shower after sex and had a "talking to" with myself while I stood there, motionless, letting the very warm water pound down from the shower head.  Is this what happens when you have 'too much sex'? Is that a thing? Too much?  And then I thought, "Is this how porn stars feel?  They don't feel the sex they just feel the work?"  You know, I never really thought of that before, although most likely that is simply due to the fact that if and when I do ever watch porn it's because I am or want to be super horny, not because I'm doing social science and psychological research.

So that was it.  My half stunned/half disgusted self decided that I am waaaaaaay too young for this kind of reaction to sex.  Next time it will have to be better.

Sex Day 15 - Subconscious Thought

Happy 15th day of month 2!

I took a beautiful little nap after dinner tonight.  I attribute it fully to the fact that I passed on my coffee/tea today and yesterday I had 2 half-caf americans from Starbucks.  Up until 1pm I didn't even notice that I hadn't had any yet, and then suddenly I got really tired.  Since it is Friday and I had nothing to do this evening, I figured I'd give my body a break from caffeine and just skip it, tired or not.

Well, it hit me at 6pm, and I just couldn't stay awake any longer.  It was time for a nap.  Off to sleepy-time I went...

Then I woke up about an hour later, refreshed.  Oddly enough? One of my first thought when I woke up was, "mmm, sex would be really nice right now".  It didn't even seem odd at to think it, rather something as commonplace as, "what should I have for dinner?" or "wow, it's getting dark out".

When my husband realized I was awake, he promptly asked if I was up for having sex.  The timing made me laugh.  And you know what?  It was really enjoyable and immensely fulfilling - so much better than the sex we had yesterday.  My guess?  Because subconsciously I had decided it was something I wanted, something as basic and needed as food, air, or exercise.

I like this me.  Hopefully she'll stick around!

Sex - Day 14

Whoops!  Missed a whole bunch of days with you all!  As I mentioned, it appeared clear by the end of the first week that this month was going to be another 5 and 2 - 5 days on and 2 days off.  Today is one of our 2 days off this week.  And that's okay, things have been really good otherwise.  I'm learning more, like how to vocalize more of what I want, that positions we used to enjoy when we were first dating that somehow fell out of our repertoire are actually really enjoyable (why would they fall out then?! *sigh*), and that the regularity of all this sex is actually helping de-stress my body!

It's only the 1/2 way mark, but I think we're doing really well so far this month!

Sex - Day 5

I found myself back at work today over a long holiday.  I weighed myself and, despite being on iron supplements to bring my iron levels back to normal (which was promoting the loss of about 3 pounds!), I was also "back to normal".  Aka, the weight I was about 2 weeks ago.

Granted, it's only 3 pounds, but a teeeeeny piece of me was like "God Dam**t all to H**L!  Grrrrr".

And then I proceeded to put on a dress.

And all throughout the day I kept eye-ing myself in the mirror, wondering, "Did 3 pounds make any difference?  Either way?  I mean, my butt looks ok. My dress seems to fit well.  I don't feel 'heavier'.  Hmm".

And then a little present came floating into my brain.  It was a scene from Eat, Pray, Love that my husband and I watched the other day.  Apparently the timing on that move was impeccable, for the Naples (Napoli) scene flashed in front of my eyes, where Liz's friend is commenting on how she can't eat pizza because of her new muffin-top, and Liz basically calls her out on it.  She says something along the lines of "Have you ever undressed in front of a man and had him walk out on you?  No.  Because to a man, a naked girl is like hitting the jackpot."

And so, there I was, eyeing myself over subconsciously trying to vilify or validate the 3 pounds, and suddenly I half laughed at myself.  What was I doing?  I was crazy.  My husband was so thrilled to be doing 'sex' month, who was I kidding about 3 pounds?  He just wants me to enjoy myself because he certainly is!

So, you know what, love, or eat, or do whatever you want so long as you feel like a great person, just say 'screw it', and remind yourself you significant other didn't marry you because of a few pounds.  S/he married YOU.  And s/he wants you to, like he or she is, enjoy yourself.

30 Days Better Challenge. Month 2. Sex

Alright.  It's month 2.  As denoted, we are on to the second wave of "30 days better" and given the list of things I wanted to do, and the timing of my period, my husband and I decided it was a good time for the "sex" month.  We are now on day 3.

Some things I've noted already:

• While he's always/usually 'in the mood', he has been overly eager these last few days.  That has been fun.
• On Day 1, he and I got into a tiny spat in the middle of the day.  I realized that there are going to be days when I won't be 'in the mood' but will have to find a way to 'get through it'.
• What does that mean?  Well, I think it's going to have to mean learning to forgive better than we currently do.  I mean, how many times do you stay angry at your significant other over something that, long term, really doesn't make a difference?  How often do you react to something in the wrong way not because of what actually happened but because of the mood you were already in when it came up?
• These are the things that I think are going to get tested more these next 27 days more than anything else
• We will have to find new and exciting ways to make sex interesting, so it's not the same thing, same position, same time all the time.  Sure there's a bit of variance in our current sex life, but I think it's less exciting and invigorated than it could be.  I'm sure we'll be exploring a bit so it doesn't feel like a routined chore by day 15.

And just because it happened to be really good timing, we were watching Eat, Pray, Love this morning.  If you haven't seen it, (and I like the movie much better than I like the book), there's a part in Bali when she meets the healer Wayan who comments on the fact that Liz clearly hasn't had sex in about a year.  She says her cartilage is clearly stiffer than it should be, and that when you have sex it keeps the joints loose and limber.

Well, hey, look at all the apparent health benefits of this next month!  Woot!

Gelato in Ice Cream Cake

Alright everyone -

Here's the result of our Ice Cream Cake endeavor:

Result?  Gelato makes for an ideal filling! You can cut it while it's fully frozen / straight from the freezer and eat it without complications!

A definite "Must Try!"

Semi Homemade Ice Cream Cake

In an interlude to the exercise month, I decided to make a Semi Homemade Ice Cream Cake for a cookout we are doing with friends on Saturday!  

This all got started because I began making cookie dough and as I went to add in the eggs I realized...I didn't have any eggs.  (fail).  So there I was with sugary butter and I thought, "what the hell" and added the flour to make a faux dough.  That gave me the idea of cookie dough ice cream!  Then I thought, "well, if I'm making semi homemade cookie dough ice cream, I better make it for more that just my husband and me to eat!"...hence the decision to bring it to the BBQ.  THEN I decided that it would be better if I brought it in a prettier form, thus the cake.

Here's what it included:

* Pie tin

* Cinnamon Graham Cracker Crust (Gluten free cinnamon graham crackers from Whole Foods crushed in a mini food processor with melted butter)

* Hazelnut Gelato (....seriously devine)

* Already made gluten free cookie dough, at room temperature

* Mini chocolate chips

To do:

* Create the graham cracker crust in the food processor and press into the pie tin for your crust

* Put in freezer while you combine the other ingredients

* Transfer somewhat softened gelato into a big bowl.  Use a spoon/wooden spoon to mix it up so the colder middle part and the softer outer edges end up at basically one temperature and consistency

* Add in crumbling cookie dough and mix, leaving pieces as chunks so it doesn't all dissolve into the ice cream

* Add in mini chocolate chips

* Pull out pie tin from freezer and line bottom with mini chocolate chips

* Pour ice cream mixture into the pie tin

* Garnish with graham crackers and chocolate chips if desired

* Cover and put back in freezer

And VOILA!  DE-LISH!  Enjoy!!

Exercise Day 30

Welcome to the end of month 1.  Today my calves are tired and sore, and I realize even more than I did before that taking care of my health is going to be an absolute priority in my 30s.  Committed.  Check.  Decided.  Done.

I really enjoyed the push to workout more in the last 30 days.  I subsequently have watched less TV, enjoyed more time outside, walked more when I had the option to hop a bus over a short distance, and, consequently, look better in my cloths.  (I haven't lost any weight, but things are just 'holding together' better).  :)  *perks* :)

We are winding down now and moving into month 2.  I originally thought this would be my 'volunteer' month, but given the schedule July has already presented me, I think we have to switch tactics.  I'm currently debating between 'sex with my husband everyday' and 'create a new teaching doc every day' to supplement the work I already product for fellow teachers on Teachers Pay Teachers.  The reason I'm debating is because on the first option I just have to double check my husband's up for hit (ha.  hahaha.  like he wouldn't be??)  and then I have to be sure I can do the teaching one in August.  I want to get it done before school has, more or less, started again.

Either way, Month 2 and the next set of 30-days to better begins!!

Exercise Day 13 - Tired

I did a quick 15-20 minute faux T-25 workout today.  I say 15-20 because I definitely did the full 20 minute video, but I took lots of ...pauses.  Still, it felt good.  And it's a good thing I did it earlier rather than later, because later I was hit by the strangest thing.  It's happened a few times in the last year or so, and it freaks me out every time.  I looked it up and it seems to be "reactive hypoglycemia" and they don't actually know what causes it. And it's not diabetes.  It's almost like the body blocks the release of gluco-something and it gives you heart palpitations, shakes, and makes you so tired you almost fall instantly asleep.  And so I recently awoke, feel better (which is usually how it goes when it happens), but I still have absolutely no idea what prompts it.  I'll have to keep a closer eye.

Still, in terms of this month's 30-day challenge - still on point!

Exercise Day 10-12: Fail, Fit, Fixed

Day 10 - failed horribly.  I totally forgot to stretch.  Woke up Saturday morning and thought, "Oh my God!  10 days and I already failed."

Day 11 - I worked super hard to fix my mistake from Day 10.  I walked 5 miles that day and stretched.

Day 12 - Back on Track and starting the week well with 2 1-mile walks, both in everyday clothes so it didn't feel like 'work'.

Exercise Day 9 - Gratefulness

I woke up this morning refreshed.  Well, I was tired and secretly wondered if I could make the world turn back 30 minutes so I could keep sleeping, but otherwise I was refreshed.  Since yesterday was one of my 2 'days off' for the week and I did extensive stretching instead - it felt glorious by the way - this morning I could feel my body thanking me for the reprieve.  In fact, when I awoke I felt less achy than I have in a while and just generally 'tighter'.  If you have worked out before you'll know what I mean - things just seem to move less.  Jiggle less.  Be in places they shouldn't be...less.  I felt svelter.

I stepped on the scale, which I do practically every morning out of habit, and I could tell you that the number hasn't changed much.  In fact, I've gone up 1.7 pounds, but who's counting?  However, I looked and felt good.  I put on a skirt and a cute but slim fitting tank and cardigan and headed to work...and I will shamelessly say that I admired the reflection I saw in every mirror.  (and don't lie! You know you always look, too!)

This month has worked out well.  It started on the heels of a 30 day-to-fit plan my husband and I were on which, when you're already removing toxins and allergenic foods from your diet, working out lends it self naturally as the next step.  So, combined, not only did I look really good today but I never felt the need to indulge in anything I shouldn't be eating.

Recently my husband and I went for a walk, as still had 2 days of working out left.  Now I have one.  It was a gorgeous evening and the walk was extremely relaxing.  There aren't many days like this in they city over the course of the year, and if I hadn't 'had to' workout, we may have missed it and done something nonsensical like sitting on the couch watching tv.  So this little kick in the pants helped me enjoy a truly beautiful evening.  If this keeps up, I think this month will go by smoothly!

Exercise Day 8 - First Wall

It's Day 8.  I've had 1 break so far, and that was last week.  This week I get 2 breaks, and I had expected to have one of those 'break' days be Saturday because it's supposed to upwards of 95 degrees in Chicago.  So that left one other day, and I thought, maybe Friday! That way I can just chill with my husband this weekend.  Then client meetings got scheduled Wed (tonight) and Thursday evenings and suddenly I found myself debating with myself all day: What should my 'days off' be?

Part of my body was screaming at me to let today be a break.  I've worked out 4 days in a row so far, which is probably the most in-a-row workouts I've done in a really long time.  It wants a break and a good round of stretching.  Then part of me argued against that side because, "it might rain tomorrow" and, "wouldn't it be better to squeeze it in today?"

I know this is a challenge, so it wouldn't be easy or without its difficulties.  That said, I forgot the internal debates that go on in your head when you set your mind to something and part of your inner-self wants to sabotage you.  I had been great for 7 days.  Day 8: Welcome Mr. Saboteur.

So I'm going to have to figure out, after I get back from my client meeting (depending on the time), if I want to squeeze in 20 minutes or just let it be one of my days.  *sigh* These are not real problems.  They are just temporary challenges.  ...perspective.

Exercise Month - Day 5

Happy Sunday!  It is the start of a new week, and I have 5 days I need to work out.  Today my husband and I went for about a 50 minute 2.5 mile walk, so I have 4 more days of 'workouts' and 2 days of full-round stretching.  Last week was 3 days on, 1 day off, and I'm happy to announce I am moving along successfully!  I worked out Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, and Friday right before I went to bed I stretched.

Can I mention that the stretching was not only suuuuuuuper needed, but it also felt wonderful.  I can't believe the stretches where I'm still really flexible (since I used to dance), and the stretches were I was like "oh.  wait.  hmmm.  that should be better...."  (because, there were a few, even though I don't want to admit it!)

However, I have noticed that a 2.5-3 mile walk no longer feels like a 'good workout'.  I'm sweaty, for sure, but it's not as intense as it used to be.  That's definitely a good thing, but it's also a reminder that I have to 'up the ante' on my workouts.  In fact, on Thursday, I even threw in a few spurts of running (and from someone cringes when other say 'I went running' this is impressive!).

With 25 more days, I have to remember to take it one at a time and plan out my week, so that I have enough time / days to get in a full workout.  Stay tuned!  And if you're joining in, enjoy your workouts!

Tomorrow We Begin

It's official.  Tomorrow is June 1 and I start my 30 Days Better challenge.  June is "workout" month which means that 5 days a week I have to work out for at least 20 min and the 2 days I don't work out I have to stretch for 20 minutes (full dance cycle stretching I used to do in all my dance classes)...it may be more like 10 min, but it's still a full cycle.

I've been reflecting today.  It's amazing how much the little Devil of doubt creeps into your brain before you begin something.  If this had only been half of a thought, I bet he would have sat there saying things only half-heartedly, knowing I wasn't really committed. Now, all day, he stood up shouting "Why are you doing this?" "You know you give up on everything eventually" "You work out already. Why do you need a 'plan' to do that?"  "12 months?  Really?  You're going to do this for 12 months?..." and so on and so on.  It was exhausting actually.  And you know the even stranger part?  It didn't sound like my voice I was combatting.  It was a full on different person.  If you have read Outwitting the Devil you may know what I'm talking about.

I get the voice a lot when it comes to my business and working to convince myself of the things I have to do to make it work.  Part of that is because it requires me to seek out clients.  However, because this project is mainly 'just me' and I can do it whenever and without the need or reliance of anyone else, I half assumed the voice wouldn't make his presence known.

*sigh*  Not quite.  He was very much present.  In fact, the fact that he showed up without fail and almost 'on the clock' actually made me laugh.  It's amazing how what you learn from one area of your life can prepare you for another.

But seriously, tomorrow we're really starting, and I'm only kind of, sort of, ok maybe a little more than 'a little' nervous.  Twelve months requires stamina.  So here's to taking one foot over the starting line.  "Workout" here we come.

I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Decisions Decisions

Approaching 31, things are starting to click.  All the hard work I put in in my 20s is paying off, and I find that, for the most part, I'm more or less where I wanted and hoped to be when I turned 30.  The "more" is the pride I have more my accomplishments: money saved, retirement started, house mortgages, married, have dog, travel often, live in a city.  The "less" is that I still want to work from my cell phone and not be tied to a geographical or time-based job.  I also want to be debt-free completely. Those two things are still in the pipeline.

However, it got me thinking, "where do I want to be when I'm 40?"  Most people my age start having kids and will begin measuring their lives by the grades of their children and the number of after school activities they have to run.  They will begin to forget that they had dreams or start to think that 'they can wait until later', at which point, it would seem to me, is when we start discussing mid-life crises come 45 and 50.  Since I don't want to be one of those people, I have to re-evaluate.  What do I want to accomplish and have by the time I'm 40?

And you know what?  I have no idea.  I know I want to keep up the discipline I learned in my 20s and build my nest eggs even more.  I know I want to still find a way to live a life where I work completely from my cell phone.  And I know I want to travel.  Otherwise, I have been so busy working 2-3-4 jobs at any given time just to stay ahead of my bills that I don't actually know what it is I like to do.  At least, not really.  I never had much down time, so when I did I would binge watch shows I liked like Project Runway or House of Cards, finally read a book or see a movie, or spend time with my husband and dog and go for a walk.  Sadly, I don't know much about what else I really enjoy, or what brings me peace and serenity, what helps me focus, if I'm really 'good' at anything else because, quite frankly, I didn't make them a priority or make time for them.

So here's the plan: spend 12 months doing something new every month to test out my likes, my grit, and general 'how to I build a better me'?  When's this all starting?  June 1st.  Stay tuned, 12 months of '30 days better' is about to begin.

Kate Hoyer

I have been a fan of Kate Hoyer since I saw her display of dog paintings in Wicker Park, IL at the J3 art gallery.  I decided I just had to have one of her paintings someday!

Someday arrived!!!  We worked with Kate to do a painting of our wonderful corgi, Ein.  She does gorgeous work, and I couldn't be happier.  If you are thinking of having a commissioned painting done, or purchasing one of her existing paintings or prints, I highly recommend it.  They're beautiful. Our lovely Ein is 20"x20" and a perfect fit for the wall space we have waiting for him to hang!

Here is a sampling of some of the progress from start to finish!  Thank you, Kate Hoyer, for the lovely painting of our fluffy baby!

Post-Bulimia Body Realities

I've had this incredibly long love-hate relationship with my body since, like, well, forever ago.  OK, I know 'forever ago' is a farce, because when I really think about it, I could probably put a time-stamp on it.  And if we are going to put a time-stamp on it, we'd probably be looking at the 4th-5th grade.  

How old are you when you're in 4th or 5th grade?  Like 9?  Great.  Let's go with that.  I started noticing my body around the age of 9, and I was learning to not be proud of it.  First it was noticing I wasn't wearing the right clothes like everyone else, then it was noticing the hair on my legs and that I wasn't as pretty, and then it was full-blown noticing my size and that I was a size 10-12 by the age of, well, 10-12.  And it was the latter on which I fixated for so long that I sadly allowed it to take over and rule the next decade of my life.  From the age of 15-24 I was bulimic.  While I was not consistently bulimic the entirety of the 10 years, nor existed with the save severity over those same 10 years, for 10 years bulimia ruled my life, my perception of food, my relationship with food, and my relationship with myself.

As of today, that is no longer the case.  It's going on 7 years now that I've been healthy, happy, and whole. 

I have to smile and chuckle under my breath.  It's a great feeling to say those things.  Actually, it's a great thing to just think those things and not have berating comments of hate rush through my brain as the immediate afterthoughts.  And it took a lot of work to get here, but I wouldn't trade the effort or results for anything, because being on this side of healthy is worth it.

However, this is a cautionary tale.  While I have spent the last 7 years healthy and recovered, my body has worked hard to heal and has experienced repercussions.  Now granted, I probably would not have cared fully about the repercussions as a 15-year-old, thinking, "I'll be different" (like everyone does), but it would have been nice to be aware.  So, if you're reading this because you're recovering, because you're thinking of doing something spiteful to your body like not eating or throwing everything up (I'm not belittling the disease, but please know that it is just as bad as the sentiment describes), or because you know someone who suffers, then let me fill you in on some of the bright sides of recovery. Note immense sarcasm.

(1) My body fluctuates between almost normal and severely bloated on a regular basis.  I can fluctuate 3-5 pounds in a day.  There have been times I've gone to bed at 170.5 lbs and awoken to being 165.2 lbs.  Don't ask.  Not sure how that works. Even my husband will notice it.  He's not mean, he totally realizes the struggle, but he will say things like, "I don't understand your body" or "You look way thinner today.  What happened since yesterday?"  Honestly??  No idea.

(2) I realize that, as a general whole, I have no idea what foods trigger what responses in my body. While I've learned to stay completely away from things like fat-free and sugar-free foods (a) because they're SO incredibly and unnaturally horrible for your body, (b) because they give me horrid migraines, and (c) because they provide absolutely zero nutritional value to my body, I've also learned that most foods react oddly irregularly with my body.  Most people do well with things like avocado or onion or apples or granola or honey or...you get the point.  Yet I can be fine eating a food in one scenario and then have extreme cramps or extreme bloat upon completing it in a completely different tasty dish.  Lesson learned?  I have no idea what to eat.  Bland seems to work best. Sometimes.  Maybe.  Ok, actually I just have no idea.

(3) Working out regularly is the only way to combat any of the above.  Now, because of my natural and historic tendency to binge and purge, I avoid exercising in extreme fashions including: on a rigidly scheduled basis or to the point where I'm exhausted or extremely tired/sore/sweaty/dead at the end of a workout, etc.  Moderate workouts of 20-30 mins preferably with a bit of weight lifting and a lot of stretching are my go-to.  It keeps me sane and prohibits me from freaking out that "omg I ate too much here" or "omg I have to workout for 80 hours in 2 weeks to fit into that dress".  No. I maintain some 'normalcy' but my moderate and fairly regular routing having existed as a size 12 successfully since I was 20 years old.  HOWEVER...I have had times where I have worked out regularly for weeks, and I stop for a month or so and voila!  1.5 months into not working out and I look and feel amazing!  WHAT IS THAT?!

(4) I avoid people who discuss food, diets, fads, losing weight, clothes, body image, body shaming, weight-loss programs, or anything relating to any of the above categories like the plague.  There is nothing more to add to this other than it takes me out of 90% of conversations women have.  Otherwise, it's a life-saver.

(5) I have a constant mind-game/struggle/competition with myself on days when I do feel extremely bloated and really can't figure out why because it looked like every other day including the ones where I didn't feel bloated to not freak the F************* out.  Then I thank God for leggings and sweatpants and immediately curse the fact that I can't wear sweatpants to work.  Then I follow that with being thankful that I still fit into my pants from 8 years ago and realize I really shouldn't be complaining and I'm probably doing something right.  And then I promise myself I'll just eat salad the following day.  *sigh*

And then I remember that I'm 7 years healthy, that my clothes still fit, and that, while some days I look like it's the day before my period and other days I look like I lost 10 pounds magically, I have spent the better part of the last 10 years within 5 pounds up or down around the same weight.  And then I force myself to smile and realize that that is something to be proud of and not to get overwhelmed because I don't have to take the next 10 years of my life in one step, I just have to focus on the next 30-60 minutes.  

"B" Rings the Doorbell

Last night I had the hugest craving for ice cream.  Ok, that's a lie.  I've actually had a craving for ice cream for the last, oh, 3-4 days.  I've been fighting it off like a good little warrior knowing full well that ice cream has always been a B-trigger.  Since I've been B-free for 6 years now (WOOT! Party!!!), ice cream indulgence really requires a deep, long, drawn-out desire.  Otherwise I stay far, far, far away.

After 3-4 days of cravings, I decided this wasn't a whimsical desire and that if I didn't satiate it I would just continue to eat all the other things in my house instead.  So, last night my husband and I ordered (yes, we can order by the pint where we live) ice cream from a local creamery.

It was delicious!!  It was everything I had wanted and more - creamy, chocolate-y, with peanut butter cups, and it just melted like butter on my tongue.  Oh my gosh, I was in heaven.  15 minutes of pure, ice-cream heaven.

And then 10 minutes after the ice-cream delight finished, I had a panicked nagging flow over me.  Suddenly I could feel B inching closer and closer, thrilled that I had finally given into the ice-cream.  I sat beside my husband watching a movie and worked tirelessly to ignore the ringing doorbell inside my head as B buzzed away incessantly.

I grabbed some lemon water, curled up in a blanket, and just kept reminding myself it's "OK".  It was just ONE bowl of ice cream.  I will not be 5000 pounds when I wake up in the morning, and that a 3-4 day craving was sufficient to indulge in the 1.5 cups of yumminess.  I was OK and there was nothing wrong with me.  B could just suck it.

That didn't stop him from ringing the doorbell.  And despite six years of practice I still feel the nerves well up every time he feels the sly-mouthed desire to ring the bell inside my head.  However, six years of practice does help in knowing how to overpower him and talk myself into a place of power, control, and calm.

So, I'm happy to announce B just left once he realized I wasn't answering the door, and I have a beautiful memory of a happy night of delicious and much needed ice cream.

Champagne Life

For New Year's my husband and I treated ourselves to two bottles of champagne.  Once we hit 30 we stopped having time or patience for low-grade, cheap wines.  We graduated from the $6 and under bottles to something at a minimum of $9, usually to $18, $20-30 if we felt like splurging or were taking a bottle to visit friends.  The same is true for champagne.  However, champagne, from what I've heard, doesn't keep as well once opened, and I can't drink that much in one day, so we only buy it for truly special occasions.

Yet, it is my favorite drink.  Something about the bubbles and the crisp taste is magical.  I love it.  Drinking it makes one feel so special and important.  Maybe that has to do with the history and hype, maybe it has to do with the bubbles.  Regardless, it's my favorite.

That said, I also suffer terribly from migraines.  I know I cannot drink Chardonnay, and yet most champagnes are made made either completely or mostly from chardonnay grapes.  To combat that and allow myself to enjoy the drink sans migraine, I took to the internet for a little bit of research.

What I discovered is that Blanc de Noirs are going to be my new best friend.  Blanc de Noir refers to a champagne made almost if not entirely from the Pinot Noir grape - a grape I can definitely and safely drink!  So after a bit more research I decided that we were going to try out the Great Blanc de Noir and the Schramsberg Blanc de Noir (even though the Schramsberg had a twinge of Chardonnay in it).

The verdict? A-MAZING!!!!  The Gruet is definitely a little sweeter and the Schramsberg has the crisp finish and perfect coloring you come to expect in a fine champagne.  While neither are officially "Champagnes", because they don't come from Champagne, France, the sparkling wine version just means a lower price tag/better value.  For under $50 for each, these wines are a treat in and of themselves.

Cheers, to a great 2016 and a great champagne life!