"B" Rings the Doorbell

Last night I had the hugest craving for ice cream.  Ok, that's a lie.  I've actually had a craving for ice cream for the last, oh, 3-4 days.  I've been fighting it off like a good little warrior knowing full well that ice cream has always been a B-trigger.  Since I've been B-free for 6 years now (WOOT! Party!!!), ice cream indulgence really requires a deep, long, drawn-out desire.  Otherwise I stay far, far, far away.

After 3-4 days of cravings, I decided this wasn't a whimsical desire and that if I didn't satiate it I would just continue to eat all the other things in my house instead.  So, last night my husband and I ordered (yes, we can order by the pint where we live) ice cream from a local creamery.

It was delicious!!  It was everything I had wanted and more - creamy, chocolate-y, with peanut butter cups, and it just melted like butter on my tongue.  Oh my gosh, I was in heaven.  15 minutes of pure, ice-cream heaven.

And then 10 minutes after the ice-cream delight finished, I had a panicked nagging flow over me.  Suddenly I could feel B inching closer and closer, thrilled that I had finally given into the ice-cream.  I sat beside my husband watching a movie and worked tirelessly to ignore the ringing doorbell inside my head as B buzzed away incessantly.

I grabbed some lemon water, curled up in a blanket, and just kept reminding myself it's "OK".  It was just ONE bowl of ice cream.  I will not be 5000 pounds when I wake up in the morning, and that a 3-4 day craving was sufficient to indulge in the 1.5 cups of yumminess.  I was OK and there was nothing wrong with me.  B could just suck it.

That didn't stop him from ringing the doorbell.  And despite six years of practice I still feel the nerves well up every time he feels the sly-mouthed desire to ring the bell inside my head.  However, six years of practice does help in knowing how to overpower him and talk myself into a place of power, control, and calm.

So, I'm happy to announce B just left once he realized I wasn't answering the door, and I have a beautiful memory of a happy night of delicious and much needed ice cream.