Welcome to summer, a time of the year closely related to Christmas time in terms of gift-giving stress. Suddenly, everyone you know is graduating, getting married or having birthdays, baby showers, and b-b-q parties. While the b-b-q parties may only require you to bring a dish or a bottle of wine, the rest require, well, a little more monetary commitment on your part. This summer alone, so far, I have had 2 graduations, 1 baby shower, 2 wedding showers, 1 21st birthday party, 1 bachelorette party, and 3 birthdays / Father's Day gifts. And that's just since the middle of May alone! My bank account is angry.
If you're anything like me, you run on a budget. Every dollar is precious and usually pretty well accounted for before I even get my paycheck. Bills, rent, gas, and food take up a solid 90% of my paychecks, leaving minimal "WOO HOO PARTY TIME!!!" money to spare. I still want to see my friends and have dinner or see the occasional movie, so when close to 10 parties hit my paycheck, it tends to become stressful. So what do you do?
Etiquette. What is required of you for these different types of parties? First of all, be sure that whatever you are spending you actually HAVE in your bank. The most stressful thing you can do is spend money you don't have or that "will be coming next paycheck" before you actually have the money. While you might be worried about keeping up with appearances and producing the "perfect gift," overextending your budget can put undo stress on you and even cause resentment towards the person / gift for whom you purchased the item, even if that's not your intention. Once you have a budget idea, prioritize. Do I really need to spend $40 on that gift or will a $30 gift still suffice? $10 might not seem like a lot to the other person, but it might be a lot to you, and your going to the party already, so you obviously show that you care.
Remember, times are hard for everyone. Not everyone can afford to give to the same degree they used to. If you understand that, hopefully your friends do too. If they don't, depending on how close you are to the person, you can always write a message in the card to the extent of "I hope you have a wonderful (birthday/ anniversary / graduation). I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you this year. Love you and enjoy today." If not, the fact that you are at the party and giving a gift already shows you care. Also, see if there are other people going who could go in on a gift with you. Maybe you can only give $10 and they can only give $20. Together a $30 gift or gift card from two people might make you feel better about not being able to give as much.
Again, remember that if you can't give much all the time, other people can't either. Respect what people can do, and remember not to overextend yourself. Explain your situation to the party host if you are close enough and feel comfortable enough. Find a friend to combine gifts, or just be sure to go, bring a gift and a card (Factory Card Outlet has wonderful and inexpensive cards), and enjoy yourself.
I am glad, that you are not one of those Americans who spends his/her bankroll like he/she eats potato chips regardless of the fact that he/she has run out. Although I sympathize with your slight shortage, I really am happy that you aren't one of those people who spend $500 at Express when they are unemployed and indebt. You must really work for your money and spend it wisely. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I try hard, although it's not an exact science. But the little milestones add up over time and it's nice to see positive savings accounts instead of ones that are close to zero. That doesn't mean it isn't frustrating at times, granted, but I try to remind myself that things are temporary and will get better soon if I keep working hard. I hope you are staying afloat as well!
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