Meditation

It’s been rather ongoing now, but I’ve had this urge to take a bath.  Maybe it’s the mere fact that I haven’t had access to a bathtub in over a year nor a tub prior to that I felt safe submerging my body into for another good three years before that, but whatever the reason, the urge has been pressing at my nerves.

            So tonight, although I wasn’t as stressed as I have been in the past few months – not even remotely on the same scale – I thought the bath sounded like perfection.  I brought in my laptop, threw in the bath salts and oil, put on some soothing music, and slid into the warm mixture.  It was heavenly.

            Except for the twenty seconds where my fiancé came in, pulled the shower curtain shut and peed, but, hey, I guess that’s the sacrifice you make with one bathroom.

            But I digress.  Back to the heavenly bath.  It was amazing.  I made it through an entire three songs before I washed off with some cool water.  No judging.  Having not sat in a bath for over four years, three songs was a great start!

            Then I decided to continue the pampering and gave myself a mini facial – which lasted for another song – before heading out to return my computer to it’s table.  At that point, well, more like during the second song of the bath, I decided I would venture into trying to meditate.  I had read up on it the other night, all one website worth of reading, and I felt like I was ready to go!

            So, I put my laptop away, positioned myself on my living room carpet, crossed my legs and touched my thumbs loosely together like the website had said, sat up straight and breathed.  The website also recommended clearing your head and that if that was not easy to do, count your breaths. 

            Since my mind never shuts off, I started counting.  1…2…

            I paid attention to my breathing and ensuring that my stomach was expanding outward to show I was taking in deep breaths instead of shallow ones.  I focused on breathing in through my nose and pushing the air out through my mouth.

            Then I thought about all those counseling and yoga classes where they tell you to imagine that as you exhale you’re pushing out all your problems with your breathing.

            But wait!  No.  That’s not what I was supposed to focus on.  Come back.  Back to breathing. 

            …7…8

            Nine!  Ha ha.  Seven eight nine! Like the joke.  Why was six afraid of seven?  Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine, in case you’d never heard the joke…)

            Damnit!  Not focusing. 

            ...10…11

            Breathe in. Breathe out through the mouth.  Breathe in. Focus on expanding your stomach.  Breathe out through the mouth.

            I got about four more of those in, and then I was bored and couldn’t sit any longer.  So I opened my eyes and stared at the counter wall.  If you’ve never done this before, this is about the time where you realize you are not going to be able to stand up right away – nor would that be an intelligent move – because your orientation is all off and you’d probably fall over.  So, I sat for another two breaths or so and re-grounded myself.  Once I felt less fuzzy, I stood up and congratulated myself on a meditation well attempted.

            There may be fore baths in the future.