The Power of Outside

When was the last time you were....outside.  Yes, outside!

And I don't mean walking from your car to the store and back. I mean actually outside.  Did you know it's actually therapeutic to be outdoors?  People are meant to connect with nature, and being outside can do great things for you, for your thinking, for your happiness, and even for your health!

If you haven't been outside lately, let me suggest you get there fast!  Not sure what to do?  Start by taking a walk.  Go out, even if just for a few blocks or a mile, and walk around.  Take in the fresh air, feel the breeze and the sun on your skin, and inhale.  Repeat.  The therapeutic aspect of it helps to open your mind and you really have a chance to connect with yourself.  Steve Jobs used to go for walks all the time with his employees / teammates.  He did his best thinking when he walked.  And it's so true!  Your thoughts can become so clear you'll be astounded at the thoughts and solutions that come to you!

Another idea?  Take your coffee, dinner, or evening glass of vino onto the porch / balcony / or whatever outdoor space you have!  You're going to be sitting anyways, allow yourself to do the do while enjoying the beautiful scenery.

So enjoy your walk.  Enjoy your bike ride, or just enjoy your twenty minute coffee!  Here's the the power and beauty of nature.

Marriage Envy

Ok...first though, for all you follow-up needers!  Mediation day 2 went well.  Days 3 and on I forgot.  Well, I lied.  I didn't really forget, I just think about doing it briefly and then .... don't. 

I'll do it tonight after I finish writing!

Ok.  Moving on now.  I think this topic is really important.  Our culture (and that of women especially) is so on the flash.  The milestones.  The "end goal" of whatever it is you're doing that when it comes to marriages it's the same thing.  Actually, I feel like what I should say isn't that marriage is the thing here that we envy or that it's even the "end goal."  I think, sometimes, for women especially, it's wedding envy.  There.  I said it.  We get wedding envy.  We get "I'm looking at Facebook and see all these pictures of beautiful brides and happy guests and married friends seemingly moving forward in life and I feel like it's so far away from me!" 

The problem is, these are just snapshots.  We don't see the in between moments that get people form one snapshot to the next.  And as said in one Newlyweds, "those are the moments that get you from one happy photo to the next."  Except, we don't see them.  We don't see the work it takes, the arguments, the negotiations, the frustration, the desire, the compromises.  We don't see the annoyances and the shining moments.  We don't see the obstacles and the power to overcome it.  We just see the "End goal."  The wedding and now marriage of someone we knew.  And, truth be told, we can't help but instantly compare.  We may not mean to, but we do, even if just for the tiniest fraction of a moment, we do.

Now, though, I'm suddenly old enough where I see those wonderful photos I longed to be mine for so long (or so momentarily, however you wish to look at it...either way I saw the photos and thought about wishing it were me) being broken.  Those same weddings and "perfectly happy and lucky couples" are not separating and breaking.  All of them?  No.  But enough to realize I was wrong for coveting.  I was wrong for wishing something that wasn't mine to have in the first place.  How can you covet something that's not part of your life or life's path?  Those people have such a different trajectory than you, that to even for the slightest moment wish their happy moment were yours is sad.  You have your own happy moments coming, and, quite honestly, we don't know if they'll be happy forever.  It seems happy at the moment, but not all things are as they appear.

So don't envy.  Because it's sad to know that what you once wished were yours no longer exists.  It's sad to know that we're at the age where the "happy" can be broken.  Stop waiting for those "end goals" and "Finish lines."  Their false markers and you have to keep moving forward after you hit them anyways.  Instead, enjoy the journey.  Make sure the journey is the right one because if it's not, the "end goal" won't mean anything anyways.

Meditation

It’s been rather ongoing now, but I’ve had this urge to take a bath.  Maybe it’s the mere fact that I haven’t had access to a bathtub in over a year nor a tub prior to that I felt safe submerging my body into for another good three years before that, but whatever the reason, the urge has been pressing at my nerves.

            So tonight, although I wasn’t as stressed as I have been in the past few months – not even remotely on the same scale – I thought the bath sounded like perfection.  I brought in my laptop, threw in the bath salts and oil, put on some soothing music, and slid into the warm mixture.  It was heavenly.

            Except for the twenty seconds where my fiancé came in, pulled the shower curtain shut and peed, but, hey, I guess that’s the sacrifice you make with one bathroom.

            But I digress.  Back to the heavenly bath.  It was amazing.  I made it through an entire three songs before I washed off with some cool water.  No judging.  Having not sat in a bath for over four years, three songs was a great start!

            Then I decided to continue the pampering and gave myself a mini facial – which lasted for another song – before heading out to return my computer to it’s table.  At that point, well, more like during the second song of the bath, I decided I would venture into trying to meditate.  I had read up on it the other night, all one website worth of reading, and I felt like I was ready to go!

            So, I put my laptop away, positioned myself on my living room carpet, crossed my legs and touched my thumbs loosely together like the website had said, sat up straight and breathed.  The website also recommended clearing your head and that if that was not easy to do, count your breaths. 

            Since my mind never shuts off, I started counting.  1…2…

            I paid attention to my breathing and ensuring that my stomach was expanding outward to show I was taking in deep breaths instead of shallow ones.  I focused on breathing in through my nose and pushing the air out through my mouth.

            Then I thought about all those counseling and yoga classes where they tell you to imagine that as you exhale you’re pushing out all your problems with your breathing.

            But wait!  No.  That’s not what I was supposed to focus on.  Come back.  Back to breathing. 

            …7…8

            Nine!  Ha ha.  Seven eight nine! Like the joke.  Why was six afraid of seven?  Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine, in case you’d never heard the joke…)

            Damnit!  Not focusing. 

            ...10…11

            Breathe in. Breathe out through the mouth.  Breathe in. Focus on expanding your stomach.  Breathe out through the mouth.

            I got about four more of those in, and then I was bored and couldn’t sit any longer.  So I opened my eyes and stared at the counter wall.  If you’ve never done this before, this is about the time where you realize you are not going to be able to stand up right away – nor would that be an intelligent move – because your orientation is all off and you’d probably fall over.  So, I sat for another two breaths or so and re-grounded myself.  Once I felt less fuzzy, I stood up and congratulated myself on a meditation well attempted.

            There may be fore baths in the future.

No Room for Jealousy

Jealousy can kill you.  Literally.  It can acid through your insides and drive you mad.  And for what? 

If you're the jealous type, overcoming it can be challenging.  It's learning to rewire your brain and realizing your jealousy is just a frustration with yourself. 

I'm not trying to be harsh.  It's important to be reflective.  Take an honest look at yourself.  Do you compare yourself to others?  How frequently?  Are you proud of yourself and the person you currently are?  Are your goals in line with the future your current path is leading you?

Those are things you need to look at first.  Then we can look at overcoming it!

One good way to start?  Start being genuinely excited for the other person's news.  Harder than you were hoping?  Take yourself out of the equation.  Imagine you had everything.  Would you still be jealous of what they're saying?  Probably not!  You'd be really really happy for that person!

You see, the more you put out positivity and genuine excitement for others, the more it'll come back to you.  Is it a 1-to-1 give back?  Doubtful.  That's not how the universe, or karma, or whatever you want to call it, works.  But your harboring acidic negativity is definitely not doing you any favors!

So, start by smiling.  Take a deep breath, and imagine how you would want a friend to react if you told them the news instead of someone else telling it to you.

Now, "rinse and repeat".  :-)

Words for the Soul

When you need to a little "growing" for your personal life, business, or relationship, the best place to start is with you.  Personal development makes everything better, because when you develop the person, the rest follows suit.

So where do you turn?  Turn to good books and good videos.  Some great starts?

Dare to Dream, Work to Win
The Slight Edge
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Funny Side Up
Eat That Frog
The Obvious
The Secret


And those are just a few.  Some great websites? selftalkstore.com and Mentorfish.com  Or, at least, I've really enjoyed them.  Shad has some amazing tools to listen to in the background and Keith brings on a little bit of everything and everyone, so you get a good scope of everything.

Here's to your future success.

Quote Me in Spanish!

It's official!  The Spanish / English quote books are Now Available!!!

By Theme

By Grammar Topic

Quote Books Come to Life!

¡¡¡Casi terminado!!!  No puedo esperar.

Hablar más que un idioma es existir en más que un mundo
To speak more than one language is to exist in more than one world
~Me

What's so great about the above?  They're quotes, of course! And they are in Spanish and English!

I'm happy to announce that effective within the next 24-48 hours I'm bringing you the first (I believe) Spanish / English quote book!!!!  Available currently on Amazon Kindle, this book is broken up BY THEME!  That means that they are in categories like Success, Failure, Friendship, Love, Famous Quotes, etc.

The second one to come out at the same time will be broken down by Teachable Topic.  Soooooo.....for all you Spanish teachers out there, what a GREAT resource for you and the kids!  Look at famous quotes or historical quotes by the grammar topics they demonstrate:  Ser/Estar, Preterite, Imperfect, Commands, Interrogatives, Etc.

Keep posted for more info on them, and start enjoying them NOW!

Mariachis Loco

Ay Ay!  Who loves a little mariachi?! 

WE DO!!!

Recently we moved to just south of UIC campus, and we've been exploring all the local restaurants and flavors.  When my parents came down, they were in the mood for Mexican, so we went to Lalo's on Maxwell and Halsted.  We also went early, figuring we'd miss the dinner crowd. 

Wrong!  It was packed at 4:30 because the mariachi was there!  Every Sunday, Lalo's hosts a mariachi band for 3 hours every Sunday, and they travel from table to table asking for requests or just playing their favorites.

Need a recommendation?  Ask for Mariachis Loco.  You'll get a fun dance out of it too!

Quotable

Welcome to the wait!  Spanish / English quote books are .... well, are they?

They are soon!  Spanish / English quote books are coming due in less than one week!

Use for:
The home
Teaching
Personal use


Want more information?  Keep checking back!

Putting Together IKEA part 2

Well, we are still "putting together" everything, although we are almost done and only 21 swear words richer.  Lack shelves need to be hung (which, by the way, are gorgeous and I highly recommend them).  The boy's "battle station," as he calls it, is also done, except now he cannot find the chord he recently purchased.  And one of our desk chairs was put together (by moi) backwards.

Aaaaaah, the joys of moving.

Where's that wine?.....

Putting Together IKEA

Clay and I recently "furnished" our home with lots of odds and ends, gifts from people, and then our massive trip to IKEA (which really became a trip to IKEA with a massive delivery order). 

Delivered two days ago.  Thanked the men for bring them in, and then turned to start putting things together.  Have you ever tried to carry some of these boxes?  Holy sweet baby Jesus!  Both Clay and I were astonished at how heavy they were.  He laughingly asked, "How on Earth did they manage to get these in there?" and I answered, "over their shoulder."  Yes, that's right, these IKEA amazing delivery men carried half of these extremely heavy boxes over one shoulder.  You Herculean deliver men, you.

If you have never put IKEA furniture together, a word of advice.  Buy their (if they still have it) little tool kit where you can switch out the screwdriver heads because it's way more convenient than half of the little wrenches they give you!  Also, find some really good music, and make sure any small children are far away.  You will probably curse at least 12 times.

So far, we have 1 Lack shelf, 1 Besta desk, and 1 Besta wine rack / armoir (75%) put together.  We have another desk, another Lack shelf, and the other 25% of the wine thing to go.  So at least 30 more swear words, a big bottle of wine, and Clay and me arguing over which type of music best fits the mood.  He likes Deadmau5, I like general top 40 pop and random iTunes selections.

But seriously.  Get that toolkit.

The Summer of 3

If you haven't already read about it, I'm pleased to announce that my newest book has officially been available for just over a month now!  We have had great readership already, and I'm so excited for all of you who currently own the book to finish it!  It's such a privilege to write for you!

Don't own it yet?  Curious to see what all the hype's about?!

Check it out, here!

Happy reading!

Paint This House!

For the past two days, we have been painting.  Well, I painted on Friday, Clay helped today, and we spent almost 8 hours each day doing so.

Here are some things I learned:

PRIME.  Prime dark colors, or any color that isn't white, unless all of your walls in the room are "light colored walls" and the same "light color."  Otherwise, you run the risk of applying the paint and having it turn up different shades as a result of the under-color.

Some paints have primer in them.  Great!

Don't skimp on paint.  Cheap often means, well, cheap.  This is going on your walls, people!  Everyone sees these and you see them everyday.  Every little dink, miss-roll, or uneven application will show up, so do some research.  At Home Depot, they'll all tell you to go with Behr.  Otherwise, most people recommend Sherwin Williams.  They have different grades of paint.  We chose the paint and primer in one for the interior white for our baseboards and doors, and the Emerald paint for the wall color.  Emerald Pain has a great texture to it, but it will show a little more brush marks.  On the other end, it wears really well and is one of the few paints that is washable!!!! (perks for those with kids, animals, or, like me, just someone who has a tendency to spill and break things randomly!)

Go for color!  Don't be afraid of it, but also know the space you're in.  Darker colors will make the room look smaller. If you're in a loft, try a neutral: greys or beige.  The fact that all the walls connect from one room to the other makes it difficult to color the rooms differently, and too many "accent walls" only makes a loft look choppier than it is! 

Our choice?  Grayish, 6001 by Sherwin Williams.  I am in LOVE with the color.  It's a bluer neutral as opposed to a yellow/brownish neutral, and in certain lights looks almost white while other sections have a purple/blue tinge to them!  LOVE.  Very lofty.  Very cool.  Very industrial / modern.

Now, we just need to finish!  Two coats.  ALWAYS go with 2 coats.  And wine or beer and lots of good music or background noise.  It makes the time go by faster and gives you something to look forward to when you finish!

The Power of Thought

I had coffee tonight with a client who has become a good friend.  We met at 6:30 and chatted past 8:30, outside, drinking iced soy drinks, and really just connecting.  It was fantastic.  Conversation is so powerful, I think with all the high-tech gadgets and widgets we just forget what it's like to really and truly connect with someone.  And you have to to feel human.

Part of what we discussed was how things come to pass in our lives that are brought on by what we think and say.  Silly thought initially - or at least that's how I felt - but the more we compared stories and incidents, the more we solidified for us that more recently followed belief that, "what you think about you bring about".  Our conversations went everywhere from jobs to relationships to health to dreams (goals).  At every point, whether we meant it or not, we were encouraging each other to strive to be better - to believe better.

And sometimes it's hard.  At first or at all.  We spend so much time talking to ourselves and we do so in ways that if we spoke the thoughts aloud to another person we would be appalled at what we said.  But yet with ourselves we deem it okay, and it shouldn't be.  Change the way you speak to yourself and what you expect, and you will change your reality.

It's encouraging.  And it's time you thought better of yourself, even if you are already thinking very highly of yourself, keep going.  Keep pushing yourself to be better, and you will keep reaping great rewards.

Reflections in Reality

Waking up with purpose is the greatest gift we can be given.  It is freeing - to feel like we are on the path we were meant to be on.  To know, even more powerful.  But what happens when we awake and our purpose is fuzzy, or has been hidden and left somewhere just out of our reach?  It is then we feel lost, lonely, conflicted.

In that loss and confusion, we turn to those who we feel can help us either find ourselves, or further mask the pain from knowing we are not being true with who we are supposed to be.

But how do you re-find yourself? Your purpose?

Sitting on the couch watching TV is most certainly not the way.  I tell you that because that is where I am at the moment!  However, that is not to say that direction is not found in solitude and stillness.  Sitting for a period of time in the quiet, outside, or even going for walks can help you open up that inner communication with your strengths.  Listen, although it may not be immediately that you find yourself, but it is there within you.

Secondly, do.  Search for new jobs, go on interviews, and plant your hands in multiple pies until you find ones that align with who you are.  Once you've found your inner voice, listen to it.  When on an interview, take heed to the way you react internally.  Do you feel uncomfortable? Does it feel natural?  If you were called back about the job would you feel relieved or shackled?  It will help you know if you are on the correct path, for you have someone wonderful to give.  It, however, can only be given if you allow it to be found.

Still searching?  Read.  Read a book and see if you can escape into it.  Does it reflect who you are currently or who you want to become?  Reading can help you attract the thoughts about yourself that maybe you haven't learned yet, or don't know how to say over yourself.  Your thoughts and actions have power, so knowing them and knowing they are right for you are important.

Some call it your gut. Some call it your tug, but regardless, learning to listen to your inner self is important.  Once you find it, then you must act.  Things don't appear without work, but they also don't appear when the work you do isn't the right work for you.