A Mother's Touch

Three years ago I lost my mother to breast cancer.  You can say "sorry" and it's appreciated, but sometimes it's just one of those situations where you don't know what to say and you and the other person both know nothing you say can change the way things are.  Ultimately it is what it is.  Losing a parent at any age is difficult.  Loss is loss.  You can't change it, and coping is a process.  Some days are easier than others, some days even feel normal enough to make you think you've moved on and are finally "fine", and some days…well…some days (or even just moments for that matter) can be just as empty and confusing as those very first few months.  


Understandably, not everyone has a wonderful relationship with his parent(s), so this can't be considered a blanket statement, but I think, for the most part, there's something about a mother that everyone appreciates.  She's the one you want around when you're sick, watching movies with you, making chicken noodle soup or crackers for you, doing her best to make you comfortable until you feel better. Even in college there were times I wished my mom were around when I was sick simply because it was comforting (and, who am I kidding, I would have loved to have been able to lay on the couch instead of having to get up to make my own chicken noodle soup).


Other times, moms just somehow seem to know exactly what to do or say.  They calm you down when you're stressed and overwhelmed, thinking the world will come crashing down around you because nothing could ever be worse than what you're going through at that very moment.  She's the one who tells you everything will be alright when your heart gets broken or your emotions get all jammed and out-of-whack, or the one who celebrates ecstatically with you when you get the job or the grade or finally cross the finish line you trained and worked so hard to get to.  She's your biggest supporter, your strongest ally, and your greatest source of comfort and wisdom.


And when it's gone, it can't be replaced.  Sure, you can fine surrogates - different people at different times to help fill different voids or help you through different struggles and over different obstacles, but it's always just a little…well…different.  And, ultimately, there are times when you just wish she could be around simply because you need her.  And those times, because of those specific set of needs at that particular juncture in your life, are the hardest.