What Men Think

I had an extremely interesting 30 second conversation yesterday with my trainer. ...okay, so it wasn't JUST a 30 second conversation, but this particular part was.  I don't remember how we got on the topic originally, which could be because I was in pain doing lunges, and he was talking to keep my mind off the ouch-factor.  Pretty standard.  Ergo, however, why it's not surprising I don't remember the conversation.


Somehow, though, we got on the topic of engagements.  He goes, "there are 4 things a guy thinks about when they're with a girl, whether it's a month or a year +.  They wonder: How will she look when she gets older, what will she look like pregnant, what will she look like in a wedding dress, and how long before she expects that last one to happen."  


HA!  Love it.  I love understanding the male psyche sometimes, because it is hysterical.  I literally almost fell over mid-lunge I laughed so hard.  It wasn't even that the comment was funny.  It was actually rather enlightening.  It was that I wasn't expecting the last part of the statement.  That was the funny part, because you could just hear the stereotypical pain of "oh boy, when is that coming..." whenever wedding conversations come up before the guy's ready.  Love it.  This, is actually probably why those Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus books are so popular.  


Anyways, fun moment of yesterday, and commentary to make you smile.  Now, when will the next funny moment happen?

When Technology Should Go...

I listen to the John Tesh Radio Show during the weeknights.  I love him and his "Intelligence for your Life" program.  He has some truly wonderful ideas, introduces some great news and thought provoking realities, and generally helps to keep you more informed about life while you are on the go.

The other night, the topic of discussion was technology and our brains.  According to multiple source, technology is actually making us stupider.  Yes, I said it:  STUPIDER.  And for a number of reasons: multi-tasking gone wrong, reprogramming our brains, and general lack of entire thought proceses.

After listening to his show, I was appauled and decided to look for more evidence.  The New York Times wrote and article about it, providing information to all three of the above listed categories. 

Remember how you used to have to read an entire newspaper or book to find information, or have actual conversations with people to learn about them?  The internet is ruining that for us and all the evolutionary / learned traits we have acquired as a result.  For hundreds of years we trained our brains to recognize, sift-through, critique, and analyze the written word and general information.  Now, we don't even look past the first page of Google (or, let's be real, the first three options really) when we search for something.  If we can't find the answer instantaneously, we complain that it doesn't exist or that it's "too hard" or "not there".  We stopped communicating with one another and resort to the safety on non face-to-face interaction or the art of conversation.  Half of people growing up now can't even write legibly or read cursive because they're fingers are too glued to keyboards and iPad tablets.  Literally, we are training ourselves to de-evolutionize and thereby training ourselves and our next generations to be STUPIDER!!!

I even heard of a school that gave every kindergardener an iPad.  Why?  What about the mere principles of hand-eye coordination, motor skills and learning to hold a pencil?  Even the very premise of learning how to color inside the lines and trace letter with a pencil are skills that are so elementary and critically vital that our sudden and blind eagerness to jump into technology is going to back to bite us in butt so deeply that we will have gotten ourselves into a devistating hole from which there is truly not return.  We are encouraging backward progress and all the while with a stupidly wide grin on our faces.

Someday, people will pay me the big bucks because technology will fail and I will be the only one of few who knows how to still write with pen and paper.  Laugh for a second, but it will be a sad day when that time actually comes.  And it might be here sooner than you think.

A Sad Face for Today's Society

This weekend I marathoned That 70's Show on netflix.  Sunday I found I needed some down, "veg" time and decided that marathoning that show would be the perfect soloution to some much needed brain check-out time.  And it was...to a point.

I love that 70s show.  It's the epitome of what society was at that point in history and, quite frankly, maybe exactly how things should be today.  I watch the show and laugh because Red (the dad) is exactly how my family was...there were consequences for your actions, parents and adults were there to keep you from being complete and utter morons, and there were societal standards in dress, conduct, and gereral decorum.

When I sit and look at today's society, all I have to say is "yikes".  Parents today want nothing to do with disciplining their kids and actually being "parents".  Maybe they had Red as their parent when they were younger and remembered how much they wished they had more freedoms, but that doesn't mean the opposite extreme is parenting either.  Don't want to be a parent?  DON'T HAVE A KID. 

Remember when you used to dress up to go do a nice dinner or even church and Sunday brunch?  Now I attended a church event where people wore jeans and sandals. I went to dinner at Lawry's in Chicago (a NICE prime steakhouse...5 star kind of restaurant) where a teenage girl walked in in ugg boots and jeggings.  I dress up in a cute skirt and dress shirt for work (remember I'm a teacher) and I get, "Gosh, you look so good.  Why are you so dressed up?"  So dressed up?  Since when did a skirt and cute top become "so dressed up"??  Oh.....right...when it became acceptable to wear pajama jeans and go to the grocery store in Uggs, sweat pants with letters across the butt, and a sweatshirt.  What has happened to our society?!

Standards have dropped.  Seriously.  We're not talking a little slack here and there, we're talking downright chaos and revolt.  I'm not saying you have to dress to the nines or become a parent dictatorship or even return to 1800s gender roles, but I am saying that it's about time we took a seriously hard and critical look at our society and fixed it up.  Caulk gun that shit back into place and then plaster it back together.  Remember when please and thank you were expected not a surprise?  Or when people held the doors for one another because that's just what you did to be nice?  Where did that go?

So, dear America, WTF?!  I'm going to go back and watch That 70's Show and laugh at all the appropriate points because it's ironic that social standards used to be a norm.  Then I'll check into facebook and post a big "sad face" as my status showing my true feelings about what society has become to the 734 people I am clearly best friends with.  Then I'll text and surf the web and IM chat with friends from the reclusive state of my home instead of actually going outside and enjoying the weather by playing a game with my friends, talking to the IN PERSON, and enjoying the fresh air.  Aaaaah 2011.

Valentine's Day: homemade

Happy Valentine's Day weekend everyone.  Yes, the infamous holiday is tomorrow, Monday, but most people, including myself, celebrated this weekend.


And, if you're like me, you did it on a budget.  So, here's what my boyfriend and I did to make the weekend super special, and resonably inexpensive.  Friday we went to the gym together – a great way to motivate and support one another, and to get the endorphines going for the weekend!  While I had a meeting on Saturday, Saturday night we exchanged gifts:  he took me to a chocolate shop down the street called Indulge.  (HIGHLY recommended.  A small selection, but wonderfully crafter, free WiFi if you'd like, and excellent soy mochas). Chocolate strawberries, dark chocolate peanut clusters, and chocolate covered Oreos filled my half-pound box and we left, drinks and chocolate in hand, hand in hand.

I gave him his card when we got home, and he made me one himself.  Cards are cards, and they get thrown away eventually, so if you find that perfect card, that says just the right then, then great.  Get it.  It will mean alot.  If you don't, however, don't fret about the $4.00 you're not spending. A handmade card with cute, homemade, sentimental touches means just as much.  The words are yours, the thoughts are intimately your own, and the price is perfect.


I also made him dinner.  He wanted some nice steaks so I bought Sirloin Tip Steaks from Whole Foods (on sale for $6.99/pound), and made a homemade "steak dinner" for two.  It included baked potatoes, and steaks topped with parmesean cheese, fresh garlic and oregano, and a thin layer of spicy cheese.  Baked for 20 minutes, the homemade dinner was intimate, quiet, perfectly priced and "the best steaks he'd had in years".  (pat pat, yay amateur chef!)


There was a lot of "us" time, laughs, and great conversation.  Valentine's Day doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be thoughtful if it's going to mean something.  You don't need to buy the sexiest and most expensive lingerie...you don't even need to buy anything.  Wear his favorite, or something you feel hot in.  Make him a dish you know he loves and doens't have often, surprise her with her favorite movie, chocolates, flowers, or even breakfast in bed.  The little gestures mean the most, added up and thought out over the course of the weekend.  Plus, that means bonus points for the late night, early morning, or mid-day rendezvous.  Definitely don't skimp there, a study in a women's magazine showed women who have an active sex life for 3 or more days a week are less stressed, look younger, have better brain power, are overall more healthy, and, of course, just feel great.  Men, I know the same would go for you.


So, if you haven't Valentine's Day'd yet, be sure to not let it pass unchecked tomorrow!  And maybe both you and your wallet will even be happy too.

Ye Old Advice

I love advice.  Do I always take it? No, but I enjoy seeking it out to see and understand other people's perspectives and points of view on a topic.  I always feel the more information I have the better I can be at making a good (or at least informed) decision.  Sometimes advice is boring and sometimes it is nothing different than what I already know or what I would tell someone myself, however, every now and again, I come across something new or interesting.


Today was one such day.  I read a copy of Real Simple, a lifestyle magazine while at the doctor's office this morning.  Granted, as most offices go, this edition was from early this year - June to be exact - but, then again, we are talking about doctors' offices.  They don't tend to rotate their reading material very often.  And, actually, it was a good thing too.  This particular article was written by Jancee Dunn, a New York City author, and covered the 10 best pieces of advice she received from her father.  They are as follows: 


1)  Hold hands while you Hast it out.  This is because when you're fighting, you don't become as angry when you're holding hands with someone.  As she says, "you'll feel goofy," but it works.  So next time you and your loved one fight, grab each other's hand, and you might find your fight is more manageable.  :-)


2 and 3)  Pay attention to anyone who wears a tool belt or Uniform.  (a) this is to help you learn how to do it so that next time you don't have to call mr. specialty man and (b) people in uniform (mailman, maids / janitors, etc) don't receive the credit they deserve for the jobs they do.  


4)  You can never have enough baggies.  Need more twist ties, shoe laces, electric chords/ plugs, or paper clips??  The more things you keep in "baggies" the less you have to buy later!


5)  You can't go wrong with Clint.  As her dad said, even the worst Clint Eastwood movies are better than some other great movies.  I'm personally not a big Clint fan myself, but you never know.  It might hold true.  Nowadays I usually go for Tom Hanks or an animated film.  Personally, when in doubt...Pixar is great.


6) Don't belittle the annual Sack Race.  It might be dumb when you hit puberty until you are 30, but those annual family traits are needed and meant to be held dear.  In my family, it's the annual bocci ball tournament at the Family Reunion, or the family member dressing as Santa to give out gifts to EVERYONE on Christmas Eve.  These are the things that keep family spirit and traditions going!


7)  Stop worrying.  Aah, the age old adage.  So true, yet so easily forgotten.  As one of the Bad Boys said:  "go woo-sah" something.


8)  Carry a Hankie.  They come in handy, and they don't disintegrate in your purse, as Jancee happily explained.  She also points out they can be used for the obvious cold, to dry your hands when those dang towels are out, or to wrap up something like a cookie.  However, sadly, ask a kid today for a handkerchief, and they look at you like you're speaking alien.  Sad, but true - someone needs to bring back the "hankie"


9)  No one's smarter than you.  As she says, even if you have no idea what's going on in a conversation, ask a question or for someone to explain further.  It's called the art of conversation, people, and most of the time, if you don't know something, chances are you're not alone.  Plus, when you ask people questions, they get to talk more about something they know or about themselves, and people always love doing that.  Then, afterwards, you now have more knowledge than you had before!  Ergo, don't stay silent simply because you don't know something.  That's now you learn.


10) You will want kids.  According to Jancee's father, you will, even if right now you abhor the idea, want kids someday.  Can't personally tell you what my take on that is, but it's worth mulling over.  


Maybe you, too, have some great pieces of advice that you've learned over the years.  Out of this list, #1 is my new all time favorite.  :-)  Spread the news, and start holding hands, people!!!

Do You Kiss and Tell?

Today Yahoo! featured an article regarding fun/ quirky facts about kissing.  Of course, I had to read it.  It was a simple, quick, 10 point article, but some of the facts were extremely interesting!  Like, for example, did you know passionate kissing using 34 (all) facial muscles, and it can help improve circulation, prevent tooth decay and just help with overall health?  Or, that men who kiss their significant other goodbye prior to leaving for work tend to make more money?  Cool!!  Honey!, Come kiss me before you leave!! :-)

The one thing I found interesting yet odd, was that women tend to kiss 29 different men, on average, before getting married.  Hmm...I know women keep track of a lot of things: how many sexual partners they've had, what they eat in a day, the last time you called her or took her out for dinner, but how many people they've kissed?  That's a new one to me.  But who knows, maybe it's just another statistic, like the one that says 70% of all statistics you read in magazines are made up.  Or maybe its 40%?  Either way, I won't keep you!  Get back to kissing already!

The Marriage Reality

There are a couple of things I love talking about:  traveling (Europe!!), food / cooking, movies and comedy, art/music/culture, and sex & relationships.  I love when Yahoo puts out articles relating to these topics too, especially the last one.  I find them fascinating, and I guess coming from a large, loud, loving, always-around-no-matter-what Italian family gives my perspective on relationships and such a slightly different twist, but I still enjoy learning more.  I always feel the more you know about something the better equipped you are to deal with situations you find yourself facing in the future.  


All that said, this article on yahoo highlighted 10 things couples can expect during that famous "first year" of marriage.  Am I married?  Nope.  But a lot of my friends are on that track and / or discussing it, looking down that road, in relationships, etc, so it's definitely pertinent.  I think the article makes a good point on certain topics.  You won't always be happy, ergo you will go to bed mad sometimes.  Your sex life will ebb and flow, but you'll probably be more in tune with each other and find it gets better over time because you know one another.  Couples still find themselves falling into "traditional" roles, even if it wasn't always set up that way in the beginning, and you do not magically become rich just because you're working with two incomes.  All of these are great points, and the article was fun in the way it laid it out for the reader.  I think sometimes today people just want the fairy tale and they're too quick to want to rid themselves of a situation the minute it gets challenging.  You can blame the fast-paced society, or the instant-gratification mentality, or the cultural phenomenon of divorce on a whim, or whatever else you want, but the truth is sometimes people just aren't adequately prepared for what comes down the road, especially in relationships.  Maybe part of it is because when it's happening to us it seems more monumental than when friends discuss what happened to them, but still, the more you know the better prepared you are to deal with life as it hits you.  And who knows, maybe you'll surprise yourself by your reaction to the article.  Happy reading!

Would you have drinks with you?

Stoli's latest and greatest ad asks us drinkers and socialites this very interesting question:  Would you have drinks with you?

Now, granted, the ad really just pokes fun at this idea with a robed Hugh Hefner having a drink with a suited Hugh Hefner.  They talked about love in a very dry, sarcastic sense - in a way only Hugh Hefner can discuss love, but still, it's a good commercial.  Entertaining.  However, like they mentioned, it does pose a good question.

Would you have drinks with you?

I asked this of my family once the commercial finished.  Initially, they laughed at me.  My brother's girlfriend was like "absolutely!  I'm fun!" and my brother said, "Who wouldn't wanna have drinks with me?"  But that's not what they're asking! They're not asking if people want to have drinks with you, because of course they would!  Everyone has something to offer, so of course there are people that want to have drinks with you.  But would you be ready to face yourself and chill with yourself over drinks?  Honestly?  For me?  I don't know.  I don't think I'm a terrible person or the most hysterical, but I don't know how I would react to talking with another me.  I'd love to objectively see my own mannerisms, but having drinks with someone who thinks and acts exactly the same?  I don't know.  Again, I don't think that speaks negatively towards me or who I am, but that's a lot of Stephanie at one table!  

Who knows, maybe someday I'll meet some twin I unknowingly have currently roaming the earth.  It could be fun.  It could be weird.  It would definitely be worth blogging about though!  I might finally come to see my infamous "story faces" - the ones my friends say I make while telling stories that always make them laugh.  Who knows.  But, really, what would you do?

the Girls, the Sex, and the Potentially Offensive

First of all, note to all readers:  If you don't want to know too much about the movie because you have not yet seen it, then choose wisely.  Read on at your own accord!  Otherwise, join me for a Sex and the City 2 discussion!


Last night my friend and I paid our dues to our long-standing Sex and the City addiction.  It got me through college and served as my bible for sex and relationships.  And, like every other Sex and the City aficionado in the theater that night, I anxiously awaited the start of the sequel.  Of course, the glitz and glam oozed from the screen, and you were allowed a quick glance at what these characters looked like in the 80s.  However, the movie was not without story line twists and complications for the characters.  

Miranda faces a new boss who refuses to give her the time of day and must decide if her job is what defines her or if she is to take time off to find a more suitable job to fit her "I'm still a mom who wants to be there for my child and family," status.

Charlotte now has 2 children, and baby Rose won't stop crying.  She is at her whit's end, and Samantha unknowingly leads her to worry about her husbands fidelity with the bra-less Irish nanny.

Samantha is, of course, the sexual fiend of the crew.  However, she is suddenly finding herself menopausal as well as restrained by the laws and customs of the Middle East.  She also has a moment with Miley Cyrus, who cameos in the movie in the same dress as Samantha at a NYC premier. 

And, of course, Carrie - main character and new two-year wife to Big.  She finds herself in the dilemma of defining her relationship with Big and not wanting to become an "old married couple," among other things.


However, the kicker?  They fly to the Middle East, all expenses paid, as a result of one of Samantha's new business propositions.  Of course, this ultimately sets up the girls to be exploring Abu Dhabi and a new culture, one with very different rules for women, sex, male/female interactions, and culture in general.  While this initially, to me, seemed like an interesting way to bring light to some of the amazing cultural opportunities in the Middle East, I, instead, found myself cringing through most of the movie.  The girls, Miranda aside, turned into "typical American tourists," emitting an aura of ignorance and living in a constant state of "open mouth, insert foot."  And of course, Samantha has to push the sexual envelope and finds herself thrown in jail after a very public display of affection with a Danish architect, which can be seen as a warning to tourists (Americans especially) about "Be careful what you do and where you do it"....we are not the owners of the world, around whom everything revolves!  Unfortunately, every scene came across with an aftertaste of mockery and disdain.  And all I could think about was "Why did you have to go and make fun of / film in the Middle East?!  Why couldn't you have gone to Europe or China or somewhere that doesn't already completely hate America!?!"  UGH!  Good movie with some good relationship, women-friendly messages, but the messages were muddled - at least for me - because I found myself watching the movie in a constant stage of discomfort / cringing-shocked-horror.  


Anyways, again, if you have seen the movie I'd love to know your take.  If you haven't, it's good, but just be prepared.  There are, though, some wonderful messages, insights, and, of course, fashions to be taken away from the movie!!  Regardless, I still secretly want to be Carrie.  :-)

Changing Paradigms

The world you view is more than likely slightly different from the one viewed by your friends and family.  You've created your own viewpoint as a result of experiences through which you have been, thus creating your own paradigms about the world around you.  These paradigms serve as a basis for future experiences, influencing how you react, influencing your opinions, your morals, and even interactions with people.  


However, these paradigms can change as one experiences new things or new information comes to light.  (Think of the concept of the world is flat vs the world is round.  New information led to a change in understanding).  Well, tonight caused me to shift some of my own.  Yesterday I found myself upset over an issue with my father that proved to be more based off morals and principle than the actual issue-at-hand.  Past experiences and beliefs had set up a paradigm in me that made me react to our discussion poorly.  In short, I was actually really upset.  And then today, I walk into what I thought was a friend's part to discover that it was actually my surprise graduation party, which my father had been planning for the past 3 weeks.  The fact that I was surprised was a supreme understatement, especially because this party and display of love and loyalty didn't fit with my frustration from the previous day.  The person with whom I was upset and the person who threw me the party didn't fit into the one paradigm off which I was working.  


Thus the shift.  In order to understand, reflect, and mesh these two situations together, I needed to shift my paradigm - shift my approach and comprehension of the world around me in order for the two scenarios to coexist in a comprehensible manner in my own view of the world.  This specific incident had to do with understanding my own paradigms on family relationships, but these occurrences and paradigm shifts happen constantly and in every facet of life.  And they occur because a new experience doesn't fit into the paradigm of the world we have created for ourselves up to that point in our lives.


What sorts of shifts have you experienced and have you been able to rectify them for yourselves?

Tough Love Couples

I've become a reality TV junkie for certain things.  I have my vices, including Project Runway, America's Best Dance Crew, America's Next Top Model, and Tough Love.  However, Tough Love came out with a new show:  Tough Love Couples.  LOVE IT!  It's a little like The Tool Academy but more practical.  And the most recent one was awesome:  sex life and trust.  


Eek!  Cover your ears - such a taboo word!  Sex!  Yes, I said it and I will happily say it again: SEX.  I will talk about it until I die, because it is just that important.  I don't mean you need to flaunt your sex life or be promiscuous.  In fact, far from it, but being comfortable enough to have an open sex life with your partner (b/f, g/f, husband, wife) is extremely important. Whether that means trying new things, introducing toys, listening to one another and putting the other first, reciprocating, etc, communication, trust, and confidence are key.  And that's what this episode of Tough Love Couples was trying to convey.  Why are certain areas of your relationship weak?  Is it a sex issue or is it a sex issue because of a self-confidence or partner trust issue?  More than likely if there are problems in your relationship or within you yourself (aka outside the bedroom) then there are probably problems in the bedroom as well, and in order for a relationship to be really healthy and nurturing to both parties, all areas of your relationship have to be working properly (no pun intended!)


Again, the thing I love about this show is its "in your face" reality and how it forces you to not only look at the couples on TV, but also yourself and your relationship.  And, of course, the topic of the day is always fun, and this particular week entertaining and interesting.  However, even more than that, I enjoy the reflective piece of the show.  If you haven't watched it yet, and you like these kinds of reality shows, you should definitely check it out.